Hi all, I’m not really sure what I’m hoping for here – maybe just some reassurance or to hear from anyone who’s been through something similar.
My daughter is 13 and currently on the waiting list for an autism assessment. She’s always been a fun but fairly challenging child – very imaginative, socially always seemed liked, lots of big feelings but lots of joy too. Primary school was mostly ok.
Then secondary school happened and everything just… fell apart.
Her attendance slowly declined and she hasn’t been in school at all for a year now. She should be in Year 9 but at the moment she’s barely functioning. She’ll stay in bed for days at a time, usually with the room dark, and only come out occasionally for food. Communication is really hard – it feels like we can’t quite reach her. She will sometimes engage if it’s something she really wants to do, especially if friends are involved, but otherwise she’s very withdrawn.
It honestly feels like “teenage years” turned up on steroids.
My husband feels we need to let her do this in her own time and that she’ll come back when she’s ready. I understand the logic, but I find it incredibly hard to sit with. I swing between worrying we’re doing too much and worrying we’re doing nowhere near enough.
She does know she’s loved, and we try to make that very clear, but she has been self-harming which is terrifying. We’ve reached out for help so many times – school, GP, CAMHS – and it feels like no one really knows what to do with her, especially without a diagnosis yet.
I just feel completely lost and heartbroken watching her disappear like this.
If anyone has been through anything similar – autistic burnout, school refusal, teens who shut down like this – I’d really appreciate hearing how things looked for you, or even just that we’re not alone.
Thank you for reading if you got this far.