Benefits of an ADHD (or AuDHD) diagnosis in later life

[LordsDill]

DS has just been diagnosed with ADHD in his late teens. His psychologist also suggested an autism assessment and DS is considering whether he wants to do this. He has started medication.

I've wondered about whether I might have ADHD or AuDHD for years. I had exactly the same patterns of behaviour as DS has had (didn't make friends as a child until I learned to mask, difficulties with executive function, organisation and tidiness, particular issues at uni where I went to pieces having lost the structure of school/home, risky behaviours + nearly got kicked out, feelings of zoning in/out, constant mental chatter etc etc). I also have a few things that DS doesn't have- I really struggle with left/right and spacial awareness and (in a completely different context) I was advised to have an assessment for an auditory processing disorder by an audiologist (had gone for a hearing assessment as I struggle with hearing in busy environments- turned out that my hearing is fine and she thought the issue might be processing- I didn't do the assessment in the end but may do now).

I'm really split over whether I should look into getting a diagnosis. This is partly a timing thing- I'm not sure how DS will feel about it given that he is currently coming to terms with his own diagnosis (which he is v pleased to have but is an adjustment for him)- I feel a bit "me too!" about it. I'm also uncertain about the benefits of diagnosis in my case- I have a good life, happy marriage, good job, financial security, friends and hobbies. I have found ways of dealing with things I find hard- I am queen of the spreadsheets and to do lists, I am early for everything so I won't be late, I have mental tricks to keep my surroundings tidy and pay a cleaner to come twice a week etc. Diagnosis would have been life-changing for me as a child or teen but I'm in my early 50s now. (Slight caveat here- I manage things well because I have built a lot of structure into my life. I am aware that changes here might make things harder again eg retirement or bereavement, but am thinking I can cross that bridge when I come to it.)

I'd be really interested in hearing about other people's experiences, especially on how diagnosis affected how they feel about themselves (forgiving oneself for past struggles?) I'd also be very interested in any recommendations people have for books, podcasts etc as I'm keen to learn more.

I am currently going through process for autism and adhd diagnosis after being referred by my psychologist.
I was referred to psychology by my GP after a mental health breakdown last year - well I have struggled with my mental health on and off since my early teens and always struggles making friends etc.
l also learned to mask a lot. It burnt out last year. It was my GP who suggested I may be on the spectrum and referred me for
further investigation. This was the first time that the focus wasn’t just on how past experiences affected me and going round in circles, but also learning more about myself and accepting how I am and learning who I am has made a big difference to my wellbeing.
all my friends and family are very support of this journey and are not surprised actually and so I feel more and more able to remove masks and the more I remove the lighter I feel and the more energy I have and a better understanding I have of myself and my LO who is potentially also on the spectrum.
so for me it is totally worth it.

I have just today received an appointment date for my ADHD assessment. I'm 55 and, despite working in special education for 30+ years, I've never associated my own issues with ADHD. However, menopause and the last 10 years has seen a huge increase in the intensity of symptoms such as executive dysfunction, constant brain chatter, etc, and it's having a real negative impact on my ability to parent and do my job.

A colleague (ed psych also with ADHD) suggested I go for a diagnosis as it has been a really positive experience for them. I work in a particularly neurodiverse environment, so I believe it will benefit me there to have my needs recognised and adjustments available if needed. I'm also interested to explore medication. Obviously my busy brain is normal for me but I'd love to experience and trial life with the volume turned down on that constant internal narration and criticism.

Of course, it could turn out that I don't get a positive diagnosis, and I'm not sure how I'll feel about that. I know it's not going solve all my struggles, but it would certainly hold the answer to WHY I struggle.
My husband and my parents are of the opinion "What's the point of diagnosis? Why would you want to label yourself? What good will it do at your age? I guess, as a (possible) ADHDer my default mode is always to want to know the whole story, to dig as deep as I can to try to understand myself.

I forgot to add that I've learned so much from the Late Bloomers podcast. Hosted by Rich (ASD) and Roxy (ADHD) Pink, they talk about how neurodivergence affects family life. They also have an app to help ADHDers who struggle with organisation/procrastination.

Oh I must check this out.
i also don’t know what I will do if the result ends in no diagnosis as I finally started to feel i am figuring stuff out after being so confused at not knowing my whole life

Also since pipelines in my life have long suspended it, including my my colleagues and boss, they already make reasonable adjustments at work etc - basically they say even if there was no diagnosis on the end they still see my struggles etc but yeh the diagnosis would make other areas easier too.
whenever I have had mental health struggles and called the dr, referrals have been so quick, and I think that’s because it’s on my notes about anxiety and depression so they are quick to refer etc. so I think having any other diagnosis also helps with referring and being seen by the right people quickly is when waiting for a dr appointment I call the receptionist and they add it to a wait list and the Dr can choose who to see first so I think they can pick up clients depending on their areas of expertise if that makes sense.
also even my health visitor know what I am going through and makes extra visits