I’ve always considered myself socially awkward or that I have social anxiety. I’ve always felt I was born without the ‘handbook’ on how to get by socially and that I stick out like a sore thumb.
However I think I am good at gauging what other people are thinking/feeling…. Maybe too much so as I overthink things afterwards. I definitely know when others are bored, annoyed, happy etc.
The main reasons I think I could be neurodiverse are I am very sensitive to noise, so much so I actually become very irritated by it. I hate bright lights and can only have lamps on or they give me a headache. In fact I have a lot of sensory issues, with clothing fabrics too.
When I was a child the teachers would tell my mum I clearly hate change and it’s still true. I get very stressed when things are changed out of my control. I have used control over food/eating as a way to cope in the past.
In terms of mental health I have been on and off antidepressants, mainly for anxiety. If it’s not autism, whatever it is has really hindered my life and I wish I had answers for how I am. I’ve tried therapy to change but it doesn’t solve the big things. The way I am has hindered my job wise as I think I would have got much further if I was confident, plus I find working in the office really hard due to the sensory overload.
I would feel like a time waster going to the GP about this at my age. Can anyone relate to know any suggestions on how I can make sense of my struggles?