It's been a day of upsetting conversations with my adult dc

[Snowcat4]

Obviously being autistic, communication is difficult adult to adult
But I didn't expect it to be difficult with my adult children and me .
Having no relationship with my parents,I've nothing to go on ,for what's normal or what's not .
At nearly 30 ( DC) ,I am definitely not responsible for their emotions .
I'm trying to help ,but I didn't expect things to be as difficult with my DC as with other adults
More fool me I guess

What's the issues? Like is it a difference of opinion or are you not communicating at all?

I think she wants me to be honest with her about all kinds of things
But then some things are private,and I don't expect same back
I understand there are things she keeps private from me .

She's basically described masking and told me that's what I'm doing with her .
She's probably right ,I do
But my experience of being myself with other relatives has ended in me being upset .
But she remembers every single thing I say ,and brings it up at a later date ,like a year later ..how am I expected to remember what I said a year a go ..or even feel the same a year later

@snowcat4 What is it that you're seeking from your post? When you say you're definitely not responsible for her emotions, that sounds like you don't care how your actions make her feel? It sounds like she is seeking emotional closeness with you, and you are rejecting her, deliberately keeping her at a distance. That would be very hurtful to her, being rejected by her own mother.

That's quite a jump you made to get to rejection
I have been deliberately vague,so not to be outing
But absolutely no rejection happened
I posted in the hope to find other autistic parents who were maybe struggling with communicating with their adult DC .
But maybe my lack of communicating that has confused matters

I'd of been better simply asking if anyone else was having communication struggles with adult DC .. instead I went round the house s trying to explain,without explaining why I was asking

OP basically yes parents and children often have trouble communicating whether autistic or not.
But nobody can give advice if you dont give examples.