Son, 10 is diagnosed with autism and ADHD and I suspect has autism with a PDA profile. Spoken to OT and his psychologist at medication review recently - he has just started a month ago taking medikinet XL.
I feel like we did everything right, when he was younger. He was well socialised (not talking about a puppy here but that seems to be the first thing other parents suggest we’ve done wrong) so he went to after school clubs, swimming lessons and cubs, martial arts and a drama group at one point. Over the last year or so he’s gradually withdrawn from all of those which indicdentally has coincided with his assessments and diagnosis. So some friends are suggesting that knowing about his diagnosis has given him the excuse he needs to withdraw.
for us, it doesn’t seem that way. It seems that we are tying to meet him where he’s at and that in learning about his diagnosis we’ve stopped inputting so many of our own expectations and demands on to him. The thing is, he is so much happier for doing less but he’s constantly on screens. We’ve done everything we can to create a physically appealing space indoors and he has a really cool room which has an indoor trampoline, climbing wall and swing, and he has every item you could think of for him to move and exercise and express himself and he does break off and use them when we engage with him several times a day for short sharp breaks.
We have a lot less meltdowns but we see all of these families doing lovely things and for him he’s just against every suggestion we make. We are constantly trying to plan things. He does have a small group of friends and we do take them out with us on occasion but the older he gets the less he wants to and it’s just extremely hard work.
i guess im looking for other parents who are as conflicted as I am about trying to meet the needs of a PDA tween and understand the conflict feel about what society expect vs our reality.
I feel constantly judged by friends of ours and like I’m a lazy parent taking the easier option but the reality is unless you’re walking a day in one shoes no one knows the drama involved.
I feel so much happier as days are easier but I feel like we are letting him down and that he must be bored and lonely. Although he seems quite the opposite.
The psychologist has actually told us recently if we push him in social activities outside of school that school avoidance is much more likely and actually he’s really happy to still go to school right now so do we just consider that school is taking enough out of him?
We are so worried about whether we are doing the right thing.
Can other PDA mums relate?