When your family don’t accept diagnosis

[smallishloud]

I had my ADHD diagnosis this week at 46 and was proscribed medication.
I was so happy after years on the NHS waiting list and now I feel like my family have burst my bubble with their negative reactions such as do you really see that in yourself? And oh I don’t recognise any of that, even arguing that if I just tried a bit harder…
Part of me thinks I need to walk away from them and live my life, I feel like they let me down as a kid by not getting me diagnosed although probably because it wasn’t recognised as much and now they’re letting me down as an adult by not taking it seriously.
Nobody came to my assessment despite asking everyone in my family.
My mum says she doesn’t really understand it but if one of my children was diagnosed with something I’d be researching the internet dry to understand what they were going through.

But it doesn't mean an awful lot as an adult. When you're a child, it can negatively impact your education etc. so your parents need to be involved and care. As an adult, it's just a reason why you find things difficult. It wasn't a thing when you were a child so you can't blame them for not realising or investigating.
I was diagnosed with Adhd myself a few years back and while it did fill in some blanks, it wasn't the perfect excuse for everything. And I definitely wouldn't have expected my parents to be anything but mildly interested in the diagnosis as there is a high chance one or both of them have Adhd too but aren't particularly interested in looking into it.

There’s often a genetic link with ADHD and ASD, if you have ADHD there’s a possibility one of them do too, and therefore probably wouldn’t see your traits as anything other than normal. I haven’t even mentioned my diagnosis to my parents as I’m pretty sure my mum has ASD and ADHD too and she just wouldn’t accept that I have it.

It can be hard for families to accept your diagnosis, because it means that they have to confront themselves.

My mum, thankfully did accept my ASD diagnosis, but she was a single parent to 2 kids 10 years apart, me being the eldest, and so she would set me jobs round the house and they were usually the wet jobs. It would take me hours and she didn't believe me that wet skin hurt more for me, and I couldn't cope with the transitions, so there were a lot of times that frustration got the better of her, because tasks that should take 10 minutes took an age. It was really brave of her to admit that had she known that was because I was autistic, she'd have treated me differently. Not all families are brave enough to self reflect like that. They often internalise your diagnosis as a moral failing on their part.

Step back from them for a bit, assert firm but fair boundaries, and remove yourself from the situation if they get crossed.