So apparently I'm Autistic

[NotQuiteUsual]

I'm not formally diagnosed. But my mental health nurse today told me I need to get a referral to the autism diagnostic team. She thinks my psychosis, ptsd, gad and major depressive disorder are caused by masking for too long and navigating the NT world in a ND body. She tells me my psychiatrist and psychologist agree with her. I guess I'm a bit blindsided. I have an autistic sister and two autistic daughters so maybe I shouldn't be. But I have no idea what to with this knowledge. Feels very fake and shocking to hear myself described as autistic by professionals.

why does she think you are autisitc

And how are you feeling about now it’s a some days further on? I think, if you have somehow managed to get by for this long despite the long terms effects on your health then it’s bound to be a shock. What I’ve noticed during the years since my sons diagnosis is that people who are often quite clearly on the so called higher functioning end of the spectrum but looking after, growing up with, or in some other way dealing with, people on the so called lower functioning end of the spectrum often have no idea that they share aspects of that spectrum. It just doesn’t compute. And if you’ve been muddling through, despite making yourself ill, why would you pick that as a cause? You just wouldn’t really. In terms of what to do with the knowledge, give it time to settle. Even if it’s something you suspected for years (in my case after my sons diagnosis at age 3, and my breakdown and various other wobbles by the time he was 5) the diagnosis when you finally receive it (formally at age 56 in my case) can still be a bit of a shock. For me it was a bit ‘oh it really is that then and I’m not going to grow out of it’. It made me a bit depressed for a while but not for long as I was taking anti depressants anyway, so the chemicals won the battle for me eventually. A year after that something else happened that caused me to have to start therapy and actually, having a diagnosis was useful in as much as it meant I was able to tease out what was caused by trauma and what was just me being me (ie autistic traits).
its also quite topical in the area of medicine now with more doctors being aware and actual research to back up things that autistic woman have discussed anecdotally for the last 30 years in relation to things like dosages often working differently, menopause being a different experience, and so on. So if you are approaching that stage of life it may be beneficial of understand more about how that could affect you, so you can a: try and avoid things where you need to , and b: where you can’t, forgive yourself for not being able to cope with them as well as you have convinced yourself you should have! Hope some of that makes sense.