What is the benefit of getting tested?

[StrongLikeMamma]

I think it’s very likely I have ADHD
I’m 49 years old, husband, kids, good career.

But I honestly just feel as though I have been masking my disorganisation my whole life.

Some examples of why I think this are:
My family ask me if I have taken my key with me every time I go out.
I’m a shit housekeeper
I procrastinate terribly
I am always late - unless I convince myself I need to be somewhere an hour before I really do - eg. Am typing this on here - need to get ready, showered, dressed, fed etc but have a meeting online in 1/2 an hour
I put off important things or things that stress me out
My concentration span is terrible
I have to literally bite my tongue to stop myself interrupting
I have many thoughts going on in my head most if the time
I’m addicted to my smartphone

How do I even get tested?
What would be the benefit?

I hope it’s ok to ask these questions here.

I would add that much of this is hidden from the world outside my home & immediate family.

Good things about me:
Great Mum - remember things I need to do for my kids!
Loving, extremely thoughtful and loyal wife and friend
Creative
Glass half full attitude
Excellent at multi-tasking
Great at recruiting and managing a team - always get promoted
Very sociable - although do get drained and need to recharge
Kind and tolerant of other people’s quirks - I like people
Strong sense of justice

I got tested for asd (following 2 dc getting diagnosed).
So dc has helped get the extra support in school/uni. I think both in their own ways felt a bit of understanding towards themselves (were both teenagers by the time they got diagnosed).
I wasn't going to get a diagnosis, I saw the traits, understood it would probably be diagnosed, was happy with that. I'm unable to work (not because of asd but physical disabilities) and was given ill health retirement in my 30s, in my assessment for Pip I said i was 'probably autistic ' and explained why, to which the assor said i was lying and so after yet again getting a reduced award I got assessed so next assessment I will have the proof I need. I didn't need it for everyday life but my gp felt it would help my pip assessments.
So I think its a personal choice, will it help you? Do you need /want the diagnosis? What will change? Is it worth the cost/emotional process to you? Are your dc showing signs (if so will it help them get diagnosed)?
I do feel in my case like my dc there was a bit of 'well that's why I'm like that' however I dont think it was enough for me to put myself through the process if that was the only benefit.
If you want to go ahead I used these and was very happy with them psychiatry-uk.com, they were recommended on here and used by the nhs too.

Thank you! What was the cost out of interest?

I seem to think about £1800 two years ago but it will be different for adhd I would imagine. If you look on the website I linked they'll have the up-to-date prices. It was great as it was a fixed price. That included all my questionnaires plus a relatives report and then assessment by doctor and a specialist nurse (which took longerthan the time allocated but they didn't rush me. I got a report within a week but was told on the day the outcome.

Thank you!

I am extremely lucky to have a very understanding GP who listened to my waffle last year and made the referral for me to Psych UK. Yes, it was a long waiting list, but 12 mo later, I had my assessment, last month, and was diagnosed ADHD. I've been put onto the meds waiting list.
Does it matter being diagnosed? Yes, to me, I am more understanding of myself, give myself some grace and also am realising why some past things were so hard.

Hi. I sound VERY much like you - and today I was given an ADHD diagnosis. It took me a LONG time to build up the courage and prioritise it enough to speak to GP about it. GP was very understanding and referred me through Right to Choose to Quay Medical, based in Warrington that do ADHD assessments.

I was referred in April. And had my diagnosis today. It happened much quicker than I thought it would, and all on the NHS. I've been referred to the prescribing team now to discuss medication, and that may take another 3 months to go through, but I've managed 36 years of my life without meds, so what's another three months?

For me, getting diagnosed was in the hope of being able to give myself some grace. To allow myself to not berate myself or feel so much shame or guilt over the things I have always struggled with. I don't want to use it as an excuse, but I want to try and learn how to be kinder to myself.

My gut instinct reaction on hearing my diagnosis was sadness... I feel sad. Sad for all the years that I've spent beating myself up or trying to hold myself to such an impossible standard. For equating those deficits to being 'unloveable' and that it's impacted my self worth so much.

What's the worst that can happen by looking into the diagnosis process?

Thank For sharing @Taysonic - i’m sorry you feel sad.
I often feel I could have achieved more in life - I suppose, but then I also feel extremely lucky. I don’t have a negative opinion of myself. I’m lucky enough to have had amazing parents, brilliant friends and am happy in my relationship with my DH - although I would say we are both very strong characters and while we can both be argumentative we are also very loving and secure.

I guess I feel a bit as though, well you’ve muddled though this long and you’re doing okay… is it all a but unnecessary? But then maybe life would be less stressful if I really understood some of my behaviours - but then if I can see those traits in me, why would a diagnosis be any different?

I think I really relate to the fact that being female it’s likely I’m good at masking my struggles.

I’m diagnosed ASD and ADHD. For me it’s given validity to my whole life. I really struggled in childhood at school and home life, struggle to live alone (luckily I don’t now), and there are many challenges in everyday life. I’m very good at masking and outwardly if you don’t know me very well I don’t appear too affected, and most wouldn’t guess I have ASD and ADHD, I have DH, DCs and a good job. Diagnosis has made me see that all my issues are valid, I’ve always felt I should be able to do better, be better, be able to cope with life better, be able to manage every day life situations better. I can now see that actually I can’t always and am kinder to myself and give myself more leeway.