Son’s bedtime

[LemonCatsHat]

Hello, my son is four. I have AuDHD and I have my suspicions about him. My main issue that is is killing me bedtime. He takes hours of dicking around to go to sleep and it is breaking me. We have a routine, I’ve tried moving the bedtime forward and backward and been consistent every time and nothing changes. He’s exhausted a lot and it turns him into a nightmare. He seems to be someone who needs to have an output but I don’t know how to fulfill this. So he jumps on the furniture a lot, likes to be squeezed and when he’s happy, excited, or loves you his will come up to you and hit you - not aggressively, it’s like his way of getting his feelings out. We are working on this but I feel like there must be a way to meet this need and same for bedtime. I’ve tried taking him to the playground before we start the bedtime routine and it hasn’t helped. He kicks the wall and rolls around and gesticulates and all sorts whilst trying to sleep. I’ve tried pressure but it hasnt helped. He asks to be rocked but he’s over 110cm and I can’t do it anymore!

Has anyone experienced this? Any ideas? I feel like he needs something but I don’t know what or how to provide?

I think this may be particularly bad in the summer as there is more daylight and we produce less melatonin. The generic sleep advice always advises to try and get outside in the morning to get daylight as it kick-starts melatonin production. It might also be worth looking at melatonin rich foods and introducing some of these at bedtime.

I'm extremely sensitive to lights in the evenings so (when I remember to do it) making rooms as dark as possible for at least an hour before bedtime does seem to help me.

I actually don't have kids but I've done residential camps and they so seem to love playing sleeping lions so that could also be an option - make it a game to lie as still as possible and not move 😂

It does sound like your son is seeking vestibular and proprioceptive input.

My son, 6, still likes to be rocked on his nursing chair that I have had since I was pregnant, but alternatively you can get those sensory swings that attach to the ceiling bars and body socks.

The thing is, when you look at sleep you can address it as behavioural, but if its medical, then no amount of behaviour modification or routine will change the struggles you're having, except getting doctors to agree it's medical means ruling out behavioural.

We were referred to the sleep helpline and they were fab at going through routines, sensory diets, sleepy time diets, stress etc, none of which practically helped me, but did help me reassure myself that I'm doing everything right behaviourally, and so have since been referred to paediatrics for a sleep assessment.

My 5-year-old is similar, though he has gotten better about knowing what sensory input he needs at bedtime. So, some nights it's a pillow fight, other nights he wants to be turned into a pillow sandwich or blanket burrito, and yet other nights it's the "mummy swing," where I sit cross-legged on the bed, with him on my lap facing me, and we rock back and forth as far as we can. I recommend trying to tune into his specific needs on the night as much as possible, rather than insisting on a particular routine.

I also have this problem! I have wondered about a punch bag or a wobble board or an inside swing? No idea what is best!