It's exhausting being misunderstood

[whatisforteamum]

Recently found out I have ADHD and autistic traits.
This mostly affects relationships so I have no real life friends which is fine most of the time.Dcs live too far to see much.
DH is a distant man who I suspect is autistic.He likes alone time.
I was a workaholic for many years now I work less and find myself misunderstood by women having been made mostly welcome by male colleagues.
So exhausted of having to go the extra mile and I'm still on my own.
Anyone relate to this.?

Just me then.,😊

Definitely not just you. Communication with NTs is a living nightmare, this is why I keep it to the minimum.

But then when I do find myself communicating with them, because I do it so rarely, I feel like a goblin who was just caught digging through the trash, too stunned at the difference of what comes out of their mouth and what they hear, to know how to act.

They twist everything and misunderstand don't they.?
I'm hyper verbal so probably ramble too much.
I always get home and rehash what they said.

The part that I always struggle and fail at in relationships is the beginning part. IME most people put forward their best side - this either means them being super warm and nice to you, or taking loads of interest.

I then, naturally, assume that's their personality, but because I'm not like that (extroverted) I don't instantly reciprocate. I mean, I don't really know them?!

Then they pull away, which confuses me, and then I can't reestablish the relationship.

I find it highly confusing.

Very tough x

I am beginning to suspect that I can’t really communicate with neurotypical people. I am hyper aware of non verbal communication and when my meaning hasn’t landed, I struggle to continue speaking, or sometimes (mortifyingly) clutter and garble my words. But with other people I can talk with them all day and never have this occur.

Quite a high proportion of my friends and favourite relatives have been diagnosed, expressed that they believe themselves to be nd. I’ve always been quite socially anxious, because it’s so hard to predict whether I’m going to be able to talk properly. I can mask it to a certain extent, or use some scripting if I’m prepared.

But it is exhausting.

@thatsalad goblin in the trash! I needed that laugh, thank you

Why do the neurotypical people make it so hard.

My controversial opinion is that they are the ones without empathy. They make it hard because they have no empathy or understanding of other points of view. We spend out lives trying to understand them, even if I disagree with them I know where they are coming from, but they never do the same