Advice - Coping Strategies

[Yolocloud]

I have a duel ADHD and Autism diagnosis. Associated with this, I have sensory difficulties such as I struggle with lots of different noises and loud noises, as well disliking soft touch and having a low pain threshold.

I have a 5 year old son who I suspect has ADHD and I really struggle to cope with two aspects of his presentation. For example, he vocally stims pretty much all day long, and very loudly. When he is role playing or daydreaming, he is quite impulsive and will often act it out and give you a hit or kick.

I find both of these very difficult to cope with and my usual coping strategies that I would employ away from the house, are just not possible to do when looking after your own child. (I usually need to go into a room by myself and have some time to be alone or I will draw etc - you may think drawing I could do with him, but he will often jump on me whilst doing this which leads to further frustration on my part.

I suppose I'm asking for 2 bits of advice - how to support my son with his own needs and find different coping strategies (has any other strategy been successful in decreasing verbal stimming for someone you know?) And any advice for myself when and my own coping strategies when I can feel the frustration rising and myself going into crisis?

TIA

Hi @Yolocloud have you tried:
Noise cancelling headphones (I use Sony WH-1000MX4)
Loop earplugs of various types
Going into the bathroom and taking three deep breaths in and out
Making sure you get regular time off duty away from the house
Hope some of that is useful x

My friend has a loud little boy and she is quite noise sensitive.

She would say inside voices and outside voicesto him. So if it was a loud voice inside, she wwould remind him it was inside voices and he would put his hand over his mouth while making it. She showed him how to do that. So still letting him make the noise but slightly quieter. She's also a psychotherapist so I thought she probably knows what she was doing!

Maybe a similar thing for the rough touch, like people are for soft touch, things are for hard touch, and having some rough and tumble play toys?

She also used visual cards on a wall for learning so maybe that could help in some way.

I am exactly like you.

Loop earplugs and noise cancelling headphones are a must but in addition I use these social battery pins that are colour coded. They are a good visual aid to use. They are stuck to you so they are about you by association, you don't have to go rummaging for it.

When you need space you say "I am turning my pin to red, mummy will play again when it is green"

Also, get your kid a belt box.

When they're being loud, you can redirect them to the belt box. It's fun, it dampens the noise, and they can meet their sensory need for noise. Equally, although it may seem paradoxical, get your child some soundproof headphones. They are seeking noise input, and when they can't hear themselves as well the urge to make more noise becomes less, because it's no fun not being able to hear yourself.

Speaking of sensory input if your child is being physical they're likely seeking proprioceptive input too. Things like deep pressure, rough and tumble.

You can get sensory stepping stones, body socks, weighted teddies and blankets, and those kids punching bags make great fighting companions. My son loves to re enact zog, except I unwillingly became sir gadabout. Every time he hit me, he was redirected, we don't hit mummy we hit the dummy, it will make you big and strong. It takes time to reestablish these behavioural changes so it won't be an instant fix but it definitely helps over time. You can't get him to stop these behaviours but you can redirect them.