Do you wish you'd had help earlier?

[Toastandmarmite999]

Hi,

It's becoming clear that my DD14 is somewhere on the spectrum - she finds it hard to interact with her peers - always has done. She's generally happy and doing well at school, but has no friends on a 'deeper' level.

My question is, should I seek help for her/get a diagnoisis, or leave it be as I'm worried that once she's told she's autistic (for example), it may shake her confidence and as an someone else on here has just said, may make her loose hope in ever getting better?

I wonder if people on here wish they'd been diagnosed earlier, or if being diagnoised hasn't really helped?

I wished I'd have known earlier (diagnosed in my 40s). It would have given me an understanding and stopped me repeatedly pushing to burnout.
2 of my dc have got a diagnosis (both in their teens although I knew with dc1 since was 2) it has not hindered them at all. One doesn't really acknowledge it but did seem happier after diagnosis. One acknowledges it and is aware of the positive and negatives of asd. It helps us all live amongst each other in harmony because we have a greater understanding of each other.

Absolutely yes! Life would have been far better if I had understood why I couldn't do certain things. I'd have stopped pushing myself and made the necessary allowances. It has been nothing but positive to find out in my 40s but finding out as a teen would have been preferable as I had a lifetime of mental health difficulties.

I struggled my way through and got addicted to alcohol (sober a few years now) suffered more then my fair share of sexual assaults and rapes and was completely misunderstood and mismedicated until o was diagnosed in my 40s. Then it all fell into place. I understood myself, I realised my vulnerability. I started to live

please don’t consider an assessment as optional if you genuinely suspect ND in your child. It’s vital.

My life was absolutely blighted with self loathing. It took me a full two years to come to fully grasp how all encompassing this neurological difference is. It has brought me such peace.

I’m watching my teenage ds navigate his life with a diagnosis and what strikes me now is that there’s no escaping the journey of being a teenager - with or without nd, and with or without a diagnosis it’s still hard to figure out how to be you in the world.

I think that most of us have a deep gnawing sense of our differences from others but when we don’t have the language and frame of reference, it can take shape as anger, anxiety, inadequacy, shame, etc. I don’t think the fact that so many women who go on to be diagnosed later are first diagnosed with anxiety or depression, is a misdiagnosis. Those problems are real but the root of them is the missed neuro divergence.

I wish I had known but I was always looking for an answer as to what was "wrong" with me.

If she doesn't currently think anything is "wrong" and the diagnosis comes from outside her then that is the situation I've heard where people feel that they are being told they are broken and will never get better.

Maybe you could share something you read about neurodivergence and say it reminded you of her and you wonder what she thinks, and take it from there? If she is interested then you can look into assessment, if she is not bothered then I wouldn't push it.