Entirely ASD household - so fucking tired

[JoeySchoolOfActing]

Can anyone relate?

I don't even need to go into details of what happened this evening, conflicts always follow a similar pattern in my house.

5 people, all ASD but with different traits and difficulties.

It's calm now, some people have talked it out, some will do so tomorrow, but it's just so tiring. And really fucking boring.

I do have some lovely friends who listen but am mindful of venting to them as they've heard it all so many times before.

Currently under my weighted blanket trying to regulate myself.

Love them all, but fucking hell, trying to communicate calmly and listen to others when every fucker is ND is so fucking difficult!

Feel a bit better having written it down!

There a mix of diagnosed and undiagnosed neurodivergence in our house. I feel you.

Thanks @CanIGetAHighFive - it does help to know that someone gets it!

100%

Me and my son are very similar but he cannot delay gratification and his need for structure and security falls flat at school so when he's home all hell breaks loose.

I about have a panic attack whenever we are late, and we are always late for school drop off.

I also talk about things in a very long winded way, it pisses off others in the house because they can't sustain attention and talk over me instead or try and finish my sentences, when it's just how I talk and feels like they don't have the courtesy to listen. I don't initiate conversation that much, so when I do it's the least they could do.

I also forget things exist when they're moved away from where I put them, but where I put things clashes with where everyone else would like those things to live. Things like sunglasses, near the door for when we are about to leave suddenly being third drawer down in the kitchen filed away in "occasional need" and school bags being sent to the far corners of the earth when I'm the one who has to pack and unpack them, garden tools that I need quick access to being moved from the entrance of the garage to at the back of the shed behind everyone's bikes and camping gear because it's not a car and therefore shouldn't be in the garage- which has ample space so I forget we have them and buy more and then WW3 breaks out that we're hoarding things.

It's a lot to deal with. It feels like everyone is stressed all the time and there's no one system that will universally work.

This sums it up for me too @Jimmyneutronsforehead

It feels like everyone is stressed all the time and there's no one system that will universally work.

I'm sure that could be said for many NT households too, but I find for my family, it is so intense sometimes and the fallout can be massive from seemingly simple misunderstandings or disagreements.

Sorry you are in a similar boat, thanks for the solidarity. I feel so alone with it sometimes.

Lol, feeling this massively on this rainy half term Tuesday 😬 It’s all just so INTENSE, all the time. So much love underneath it all but so much pointless, exhausting drama too. One person’s traits setting off another’s fight or flight response. Constant feeling of pissing into the wind when repeatedly trying to convey simple instructions. Utterly soul-destroying battles over what to eat/wear/do Every. Single. Day. Endless monologuing coupled with total inability to let others finish their sentences. Oscillating between giddy highs and abject lows several times a day. Constantly emailing/calling/meeting a merry-go-round of largely disinterested professionals to try and cobble together something resembling support for DC. Rinse and repeat! I’m immensely proud of my all-ND family but ye gods it’s all exhausting. You are not alone!

@NineteenSeventyNine thank you for seeing me!

You are absolutely spot on. Running very low on reserves this week even today was a relatively good day after an absolute shit show the start of the week. Should be asleep now, but staying up late is the only way I get a bit of peace.

Don't bother telling many people anymore about the details of how we are because it must sound so ridiculous when I say there was a 2 hour stand off and meltdown over a light switch.

I just came on to post something similar. I feel like I am responsible for regulating everyone’s emotions and I’m so exhausted from it all.

@Greentigerprint hearing that loud and clear. Have been out on my own to the cinema tonight which was bloody blissful not having to give a fuck about anyone else.

Up too late again though, really need to break that habit, but it really is the only time I feel peaceful at home.

Super hard evening tonight, but only one DC in meltdown which is an improvement.

This is so true:

One person’s traits setting off another’s fight or flight response.

V proud of my eldest DD for using good coping strategies to keep herself regulated while her sister was not coping in a very noisy way.

Have to celebrate the positives I suppose!

We're at our caravan to do some DIY.

My grandmother, undiagnosed, could pass an autism exam flying colours with her rigidity refused because we didn't have paintbrushes, even though we have paint, we have rollers, and can come back to do the cutting in.

Thinks it's not even worth starting if we can't finish it right now.

Little boy who doesn't understand the value of money had a meltdown at the amusements because we had run out of money because he just wanted to spend it all on the £3 per person sweaty head VR headsets.

I'm just about holding it together after plans keep changing.

Struggled to sleep in a bed that isnt my bed but I know when we get back tomorrow I'll also struggle to sleep in my own bed because it'll be too "different" even though it's literally my bed.

School holidays are just a nightmare to navigate anyway, even though DS is a huge school avoider, and that kicks up a daily fuss.

Considering buying an electric cattle prod so I can zap everyone and myself.

@Jimmyneutronsforehead yup, I hear all of that, including your own struggles that you just have to suck up most of the time.

The undiagnosed parents/grandparents thing rings very true as well.

Get me a cattle prod while you're at it please.