Hello I am a Neuro-typical with a neurodiverse family. My husband is going through diagnosis later in life for ASD and we have an 11 year old with ADHD and 9 year old suspeced ASD like her dad. So as you can see I am the odd one out.
I've had a turbulent relationship with my ASD husband over the past 17 years, and I've had suspicions about his ASD in the recent couple of years but wasn't brave enough to mention it to him until now. So the process has just started towards diagnosis and finding tools to help us get by with eachother. I am absolutely certain about him, I have neurodivergent family members and have recently worked with neurodivergent students in my job. Suddenly everything is clicking into place, everything we have struggled with so much on a daily basis over those 17 years.
I guess i am writing because I feel lonely. We have been arguing more lately, he is very snappy, shouty and I just don't feel able to tolerate it now, especially in front of the kids and we have a 1 year old baby.
Sometimes I feel I would get along happier in life if I was alone with the children. But since we are only just beginning this journey I feel I need to see if I can learn the techniques to get along better and give that a chance.
I'm overwhelmed with information and lack of time due to the baby. I also have a health issue which, if not adequately medicated causes me major fatigue, mental health issues and my body can start to shut down. Hypothyroidism is what I have and it can be very difficult. All my adult life (I'm 35) I've formed unhealthy habits as a coping mechanism to get by in my relationship and deal with stress and loneliness such as smoking and over eating, which has contributed to my ill health. I have somehow now managed to quit smoking for the sake of my children but my crutch and comfort has now gone.
I have a lot to learn for the sake of my children and my husband and it just feels like a LOT. And of course I am lacking the emotional support and feeling of love and consideration I need. Most of the time he makes me feel invalidated, argues with my opinions, is blunt, unnatentive and snaps at me. Comes with the territory I know. I was just hoping to find someone to talk to online because I really could do with some help.