ADHD’ers who had highly critical parents - how are you now? How do you get “better” at life?

[Phonehoomme]

I was diagnosed with ADHD aged 30, I am 45 now. Ignored the diagnosis until relatively recently.

My parents were highly critical of me when I was growing up becuase of a lot of my inattentive ADHD traits. I had a lot of anxiety and other mental health problems as a teen and early 20s, which have all been put down to undiagnosed ADHD.

I feel unable to live up to my potential. My husband keeps us afloat financially - my job is fairly low paid, despite the fact that I have two degrees from prestigious universities, jobs at places that would be considered to be great.

I feel like I can’t do anything right and am bad at everything. I have always felt like this. Dragged my way through my working life until I could afford to take a job where I have little responsibility.

ADHD’ers - how do you get over this?

I want to be more!

My parents’ critical voices echo around my head sometimes. And I feel just shit at everything because I do sometimes forget things and mess up.

I tried meds and didn’t like them.

Anyone had any success?

Bump

Oof this sounds very similar to me - ridicule from siblings and critical parents. Feel like I have totally failed to meet my potential

Would you give meds another try? I am finding some success. Otherwise I do wonder whether therapy may be the way forward (doing CBT via talking therapies at the mo but tbh wonder if I need to dig deeper as I hold some pretty negative core beliefs).

I recently read Small Talk by Rich and Rox Pink (possibly may provoke some bad memories in self esteem terms of you're anything like me) but it was kind of nice to read of someone else with the same sort of self hatred I've had over the years. Quickest I have ever cried when reading a book (literally around page 2) 🫠

Oooh yes I also looove Tracy Otsuka podcast (ADHD for smart ass women - I actually hate the title though 😆) she is so positive it's like a little bit of therapy with every listen 🤣🤣

I could have written this (even checked it wasn't me) although only diagnosed this year - I've been trying to get gp to listen since pre covid.

I'm stuck in a job Im good at but is low paid and I genuinely dontnunderstand/see how to progress. And yes I also have 2 very good degrees. I was so proud at the time and now I just think - gosh I was SO clever. How did it come to this.

I'm a similar age to you, we live in a starter home in a not great area, have no disposable income and I just feel such a failure. I even had NHS counselling due to the failure thing but I just want to make my life work now... And haven't. I just don't know how. I saw a careers advisor earlier this year who wants to know what I want to do. But I don't know. A couple of things I want to do I can't now this stage in life and I don't know how to progress.

I am starting elvanse today. I don't think this will solve my career but hoping it might help me function so I have some space to think about it.

I've loved being a mum but trying to restart soemthing at 45 after years of part time in one field is... Hard.