DH is ND and shows little to no affection or emotional support. I have realised this is a deal breaker for me and we need a compromise. We’ve been married for 20 years and I don’t want a plutonic affectionless marriage.
How do I broach this in a kind, non-triggering way without making him feel manipulated?
On occasion I’ve told him I’m feeling sad - I haven’t said why. His response is ‘right’ or ‘ok’. He has explained that me saying that makes him feel that he’s expected to respond in some way, which annoys him and he can’t offer me any emotional support to ‘lift me up’.
I want to get the wording right and feel I have one shot at this or he will get quite angry and withdraw and then he’ll feel the pressure to be affectionate, which will result in him being even less so.
TIA