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Anyone feel like they live their life to please an audience that doesnt exist?

7 replies

InvisibleAudience · 09/02/2025 08:43

This is weird and I'm not sure I can even articulate it. I'm undiagnosed but other close family members are; it looks too difficult and I'm not sure what help I would need? I get on OK in life tbf. I def do special interests and masking and ADHD traits too.

But, I feel like I always take into account an audience that doesn't exist when I'm decisionmaking about Life. It's not about what society thinks, it's about whether this is 'on brand'. It's as though I'm an influencer and I have to think about being consistent on my socials. Except I'm not!!!

Eg: got a few special interests and spent yesterday doing a deep dive on one, just loving looking at all the associated artwork online, planning to buy a few pieces and I get this comfort from thinking 'ahhh, THIS is me, being really into this, loving the art, great.' Nice relaxing day, being consistent and on brand, keeping the audience happy 🤣.

This morning though, youtube sent me a beautiful film of one of my other interests which I havent done for a while and it was PERFECTION and the ADHD magpie brain wants to go down that route again. But then I start fretting, I feel like I just got settled into my identity with the other thing and this one muddies the message for my invisible audience and if I want to do the old thing again, I need to purge the other from my life or this nonexistent audience will get confused. Confusion must be avoided! So I start mentally creating this whole new life/ID for myself all over again 🤨

And I'm annoyed. I cant stop taking this 'audience' into account even though consciously I know its ridiculous, you can have more than one hobby. I'm not an influencer so theres no brand. Why cant i just enjoy myself and not analyse it???

Anyone else, or just book myself into the funny farm now?

OP posts:
YourChirpyFatball · 09/02/2025 18:58

I'm not sure regarding an audience but I've always had the sensation that I'm watching over me but that it's me watching too. A feeling of not being lonely as there's the two of us, me and me. Double thinking and analysing.

InvisibleAudience · 09/02/2025 19:51

YourChirpyFatball · 09/02/2025 18:58

I'm not sure regarding an audience but I've always had the sensation that I'm watching over me but that it's me watching too. A feeling of not being lonely as there's the two of us, me and me. Double thinking and analysing.

Haha, i see - come to the conclusion today that the audience might be me too 🤔

OP posts:
YourChirpyFatball · 10/02/2025 12:42

InvisibleAudience · 09/02/2025 19:51

Haha, i see - come to the conclusion today that the audience might be me too 🤔

I remember downloading a book by Samantha Craft called Everyday Asperger's. In it she mentioned something about having an observer of what she's doing. I definitely recommend if you can get hold of this book. It was free to download on Amazon Kindle at one time. I'm pretty sure I know what you are describing but it's hard to put into words!

YourChirpyFatball · 10/02/2025 12:44

Ps. Back in the day when they didn't consider autism for girls and women, I recall telling a therapist I felt like there were two of me.

InvisibleAudience · 10/02/2025 17:07

Thank you i'll try to find the book (as long as the audience will let me 😁)

OP posts:
InvisibleAudience · 10/02/2025 20:02

I found it and the concept of fixations vs special interests is really helpful!

OP posts:
YourChirpyFatball · 10/02/2025 21:10

That's great. I will read it again sometime. Good luck with the audience! 😉

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