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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

Informant interview and questionnaires proving troublesome

2 replies

AuADHD · 03/02/2025 12:51

I have my assessments booked in a couple of weeks. My mum is my only possible informant and is struggling with everything it seems. She's not happy at having to have a very long phone call for the autism part. She's struggled with the adhd questionnaire not knowing what to say. I'm not sure if I mask REALLY well on the adhd front or she just doesn't get me. Scrap that, I know she doesn't get me.

I'm late 40s and have struggled all my life. This is an opportunity to finally have some answers. I spent 3.5 years on the NHS waiting list for autism and then went with Right To Choose and have been referred for both. I spent my teens on antidepressants seeing psychiatrists and nothing helped. I've realised I've not been depressed at all but overwhelmed and had periods of shut down.

I developed eating disorders that took 30 years to kick but the thoughts remain to a small extent. Mum probably won't even remember that.

No professional or family member really questioned things beyond why wasn't I normal and I think now my assessments are looming I'm feeling angry about that.

I think my mum feels some guilt and the assessments won't paint her or my family in the best of lights. She wasn't the most attentive to my needs and my childhood has been described as emotionally neglectful by a clinical psychologist. My dad died several years ago. I think he was autistic too and self medicated with alcohol. My family aren't what you'd call warm and affectionate. They were always critical and dismissive and I don't have anything to do with them anymore.

I think I'm just offloading here but does anyone have any advice on how to get through the next couple of weeks and how not to fall out with my mum over this? I'm really struggling with her attitude to this like it's a big inconvenience.

OP posts:
AuADHD · 06/02/2025 07:36

Gentle bump

OP posts:
Cedrabbage · 07/02/2025 03:29

Basics:
You can't change her
You can remind her of a couple of things so she hopefully remembers to mention them in the chat.
Tell her you're grateful for her input
Look after yourself

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