Not sure how to speak to driving instructor

[Lovelybitofsquirrel3]

sorry this is long and I know no one likes that. I am autistic. Because of my communication needs I usually have people that help me communicate with other people in real life. I have an auditory processing disorder and my preferred method of communication is in writing. I know I’m “hard work.” (Before anyone says anything everything has been declared to the DVLA.) They help me word texts or emails or speak to people for me for various reasons I need this. They’re not available constantly.
recently with help I called a driving instructor to ask about availability. Usually I would email because I prefer to write but I didn’t get a response.
After that, I needed to contact him again about how I would be paying as I was expecting the money from someone else to pay him.
Earlier than expected I got the money for the lessons that day so I texted the instructor to let them know but didn’t get a response until at night to ask me if I want a lesson the following day after lunch time.
I obviously didn’t have anyone to help me at that hour but needed to reply. They have offered me a lesson later on in the week. Usually I have someone explain my communication needs. I often need someone to translate what someone is saying to me into a way that I can understand them to prevent misunderstandings. I was hoping to take someone with me to the lesson but I won’t have time to ask them and arrange something before a lesson. I need people to be very specific and I can’t understand inferred meanings, and have a number of other communication needs. I can be articulate at times and not at other times. I can get very flustered.
I did say it would be unsuitable at short notice because I know nothing about driving but can pay right away. My issue is I feel uneasy about the short notice and the text at night. I was about to go to bed. I was actually in bed. what if I hadn’t of seen it I wouldn’t have known to reply. but I have never had lessons before so don’t know what’s normal and what’s not.
they are legitimate and have a Facebook page and post passes regularly.

Don't worry.

I expect that the instructor probably didn't expect you to reply straight away - it would have been OK to reply in the morning.

A lot of people have their phones set to silent or "do not disturb" setting during the night, so replying the next day is OK.

It's fine to tell the instructor that short notice doesn't work for you - he was probably offering this, because for a lot of people that would work really well and they would be pleased to have the option. Now that he knows you aren't free, he can offer it to somebody else, or just take it as free time for himself. Have you explained that you prefer to have somebody with you, to help with communication and misunderstandings? That might make it easier for the instructor to understand why you would need a bit of notice before confirming an appointment for a lesson.

It's OK if you don't know anything about driving - most people don't before their first lesson.

I also think from experience, it's worth getting the right instructor, somebody who will be patient and kind. So if you don't get on with an instructor, it's fine to look for somebody else. Perhaps look for somebody who is experienced with nervous drivers, even if you aren't feeling nervous about driving. I think someone who is good for nervous drivers would probably have a patient manner and be happy to explain things more simply and in different ways if you didn't understand the first time.

Good advice from @BertieBotts !

I hope it will all work out for you, @Lovelybitofsquirrel3 .

I had a similar situation. I messaged quite a few instructors and one of them got back to me at quite short notice. I was doing refresher lessons and was very nervous. I prefer to have a little more notice of something that is quite stressful. I also felt less reassured about them as an Instructor, like it was less professional of them. However I think that may just be my interpretation!

I can't remember how it went but I ended up using AA, as they have a website where I can book the lesson in advance. It didn't require having to text the instructor etc., which I found much less stressful.

The Instructor was, by chance, quite good. I felt I could be myself - the first thing I told them was how nervous I was - and he also had some lego figures and drawings that he used to explain things.

Can someone help you put together a short template or two to include in any first contact with new people, with the aim of making them a bit kinder or more patient in how they communicate with you? Something to put at the start or end of messages? Eg (and I'm sure an NT can make a much better job of this in terms of 'tone'!) 'just so you know, I need a bit of help with my communication due to XYZ so please excuse any tardy or badly written messages. If there's anything that doesn't make sense, please just ask and l'll be happy to clarify'