Where would you live if you were me!

[NatureLovingWalks]

Hello so happy to have found this sub! I’m in my 40s and in my 30s was diagnosed with Autism and subsequently Inattentive type ADHD. I have made huge changes to my life positive since, some has meant stepping away from certain friendships / relationships and changing my activities to things I actually want to do vs social expectations. I’m very comfortable in my own skin now. I am very active and do a lot alone mainly to not having many friends where I live.

I’ve been living in a small rural market town the last few years and have struggled here. I think as it’s so close knit and there are certain social standards, people (especially neighbours) locally struggle to understand my need for privacy, not engaging in long chats and not being a social butterfly, I also don’t drink alcohol which has prevented making friends as it’s a very pub / drink orientated town. I am also mix -race which has brought some challenges as it’s not very diverse. I’ve encountered some “casual” racism here but brushed it off as it could be worse.

I want to relocate next year - in the past have lived in cities as found them more diverse / less racism and found more likeminded people. Ive met some lovely people where I’ve tried locally but have struggled to maintain friendships. Mainly as I have prominent sensory issues which can affect socialising so can only really partake in things like walking, quiet coffees etc which does limit it and not everyone is up for or understands. I just can’t tolerate noise or busy places at all.

I feel a diverse city would be great for me in terms of ability to make connections and possibly join ND groups (if they excist?) In the past I have found some large city centres very overwhelming due to sensory issues though which was part of the reason for me moving somewhere quieter. Overall I think i could manage this now though and the positives of what a city could offer would outweigh the negatives. Avoiding busy times etc.

i have literally no ties - i have no family (no kids, parents or siblings). I can move anywhere in the UK. I work for myself from home so can base myself anywhere as long as uk.

I like fresh air, walking, would love to do group hikes, would ideally love somewhere multi cultural and more chance of meeting ND people with similar sensory issues - so maybe a city which could have these groups with close proximity to countryside?

any ideas? I can literally go anywhere just want somewhere that has better chance of me meeting similar people and would be tolerant to avoid the bigotry ive faced here

thank you! Really interested in ideas

I don't have any specific locations but based on what you say I would look for a smaller town that is close to/with easy transport access to a big city and close to countryside.

I would also look for somewhere that is not in the north of England but in the zone from central England to the London - Birmingham or more south.

This should give you a range of options, access to more diversity of population.

Thank you so much! I actually live in the North now and funny enough I did spend some years in a town just outside of London in my younger years… you’re right about the diversity. I was close to city but also not far from south coast and beautiful forestry. Appreciate your reply and thanks 🙏

I'd have a look into Bristol - think it ranked pretty highly on whatever that list is of good places to live recently and I think a good match for what you're looking for!

Outskirts of Canterbury might be good. İt's becoming more and more diverse as more council waiting list Londoners are housed here in new developments. I'm on the outskirts and there's a local walking group and a new ND group just started by someone in this small area. İf you're interested, message me and I'll tell you the name of the small town I'm in. I also seem to run into a lot of ND adults here and always have done.

Felt exactly like you growing up (in the north) It was suffocating

Came to London when I was 19 and love it, primarily because you can make friends and a community if you want. Or not and no one gives a shit what you do as everyone is wrapped up in their own lives and own problems and there are so many people with worse problems than you that you start to look “normal”

Hi everyone! I have moved to a city within the north west not been here long but already loving it and feeling more at peace. Apologies I haven’t had chance to update the thread due to moving stress! Thanks for all your replies here’s to new beginnings

I was going to suggest Liverpool if you're in the north/north West, as it has such a friendly and open atmosphere and so many different types of people, I also love cities for the feeling of anonymity and freedom they give me. I'm currently living in a small town that is actually part of the Liverpool region but couldn't be more different, so insular and unfriendly. (St Helens)