Paid employment as a neurodiverse person

[lolit]

Who else struggles with this? I'm sure I'm not alone 😂

My story: I am almost 30 and I was in paid employment a total of 3 years of my life, lasted only 6 months in a full-time job, every other job I had was part-time.

I applied for a part-time job working with kids for about 4 hours a day and got it. Great news! Next step was to come to the school and spend some time with the kids before deciding on taking the job, so I did that. I came home crying because the lights were too bright, it was too noisy and overwhelming. I am not sure I can do this, even for 4 hours a day.

Luckily I was awarded no capacity for work on UC, which means I am not required to work to receive benefits. So at least I won't starve. But I want to work! I am finding it very difficult to process the fact that I am might not be capable of work, even part-time. I feel like every time I think I think I find a job that works for me, I end up being wrong. It's like constantly hitting a wall.

This is mostly a vent but if anyone wants to share their story please do.

I hear you. Many ND work for themselves. But paid work ... is often a serious difficulty.

I too thought oooh kids yay... but like you found the noise and lighting unbearable. Police call handler? Night duties pay really well. It's high pressure/dopamine rich, unpredictable, but you have a headset so also "quiet".

Sounds like you definitely threw yourself in at the deep end working with children!

What about a job in a bakery? Or something similar in a small independent retail shop that's not too busy?

I would suggest working for yourself in self employment. I haven't been diagnosed with anything, but I am certain I am ADHD with autism. I just can not hold down full time hours at all, I burn out mentally and have a break down. I now work my own hours when I am capable of doing so. Some days I can manage 10 hours, other days 90 minutes.

Raises hand.

I do work in a very stressful professional career. I am supposed to work 3 days per week but the nature of the role means I always end up doing over that by a lot.
I have had various jobs before and although I have always worked I have struggled and it's affected my mh irreparably. Before diagnosis I wondered what the hell was wrong with me, turns out I was trying to survive in the wrong jobs.

It's not easy now, I'm often burnt out and have to really fight the urge to just not turn up and hide in bed. I do get overwhelmed at times too. The positive thing is my job means I do have quite a high level of flexibility and can pretty much manage my own diary and schedule undisturbed. I carry on because I am brilliant at my job and I do get a lot out of it. I would say that out loud but I don't mind saying that as it's the truth. I do enjoy many aspects of it. It does balance out the negatives even though it doesn't feel like it a lot of the time.

My job is fast paced, high pressure and extremely diverse. No two days are ever the same. That works for me. It won't suit everyone. I work well under pressure and with crisis. I can often throw myself into the current crisis and fully focus on it and then have a slightly more relaxed (ha) period where I can recover. Another positive of the role I suppose. I'm able to tell my team and manager I have had enough (all staff can/do, regardless of ND) and in my industry it's respect, expected and supported. If I have had enough, within reason, I can hide for a day or so.

Before this role I thought I'd never be able to work, or at least survive work without destroying my mh. But I was just working in/seeking the wrong jobs. I needed to find my niche and special interest to make it bearable.

There are lots of people who are ND in my industry. In fact there is a nationwide peer group of ND staff.

With all that said, It's ok not to work if that is what is best for you. We are pushed into work our whole lives, through school etc but that's just capitalism. It's not the only goal in life. Obviously as long as you can house and feed yourself.

If you do not any to work it's possible you just have to find your interest and niche. No rush. Have a look at some short course, what are your interests, can that be transferred or is it something worth exploring more. There are so so many jobs out there that we never even know exist half the time but with a little digging you might find one that fits.

I manage to work by working from home where I can control my environment and by working part time.

I've worked my whole life, but often wondered why my life and my 'career' path was so different from my friends.

I'm at serious risk of burnout, but luckily I'm starting to understand myself more and starting to let go of the ambitions I once had.

This is tough mentally as I truly feel I could have achieved so much if I wasn't ND, but it is what it is, and I'll end up having a heart attack if I don't start respecting the limits of my mind and body.

I think it's possible to do some work or volunteering (schools are one of the least ND friendly environments so not surprised you didn't last long there!) but you have to fit the right fit.

I have a fairly predictable and not too peopley job that I can manage. I do work part time as work plus dealing with kids (at least one of which is also ASD) was too much, but managed full time before I had kids. Now days I also mostly work from home, and rather worryingly do struggle with going into the office in a way I didn't when I did it every day.
I would add I could never work with children. I volunteered to help with DD's school Christmas event last week and it wiped me out for days.

I need a new job and am struggling to find a new career/job role. Ideally I'm looking 35k plus pro rata or leading to it. I can't work out how to retrain/what to retrain or what job I can side step into.

And it's doubly hard trying to do it while feeling so burnt out.

I would be earning in the 40s if I was still teaching.

Yeah, I’ve never managed to work full time. At the moment I work four days a week and can wfh whenever I need to. I’ve almost been in the job 2 years which is the longest I’ve ever managed in a role.

It's difficult isn't it? I'm the same although it's only this year that I've realised that I am most likely neurodiverse.

What do you do? 4 days with some wfh would be ideal for me...

I work for myself at home. It's a bit of a slog to make a living wage, but I'm completely in control of what I do when, so absolutely worth the long hours for the flexibility.
I was a police officer for 10 years in my 20s, and that really suited me. I feel things have changed now with all the wokery, but back then it was all pretty regimented. Clear rank structure, parade every morning, arrest the bad guys..perfect job for an aspie.

I have struggled for years, I tried hospitality, dreadful choice (before I realised I was nd) I was terrible.

Then I ran a childcare business from my house. That worked ok except I struggled with the parents and managing payments/boundaries.

I then worked in social services, awful too much stress for someone who has to give 110%

I tried a school hated it too stimulating.

Finally I found my perfect job. I work in a library 2.5 days a week. It's quiet but a bit of a social element. I love books, it's methodical.

I love libraries.

I keep thinking about social work and aiming for mental health Ed or elderly care or send kids but I realise that I would find it overwhelming.

Unfortunately, my job would require you to be a Pharmacist. You could train to be a Pharmacist but there aren’t too many roles in Pharmacy that are as flexible as mine.

Dh struggled and is now self employed.

Ds1 has autism but no learning disabilities and his sensory issues are fairly mild. He is working at McDonald's and really enjoying it. They think he is brilliant because he does what he is told to do without arguing or complaining or talking to other people instead of working.

Thankyou. That's worked out brilliant for you 😍.
No I'm looking to retrain but not likely in pharmacy!

It's helpful to see though. My duaghters are autistic and super clever (like I was/high grades) but whereas I've slipped through the net I really don't want them to.

@FatsiaJaponicaInTheGarden I think you'd be surprised how much social work is involved in being a librarian! That is what librarian friends have told me.

Oh I think that's partly what attracts me to being one! I love the different groups they have in during the week and that it's a safe space for people to go that don't see people, a warm space etc.

But here most of the workers in a library are on close to minimum wage which wouldn't be sustainable for me right now.

That’s why I am a cleaner,I clean a nursery from 5pm-8.30pm,I’m on my own,I get weekends off,bank holidays and 2 weeks at Christmas.

I work from home in quality assurance full time, for an insurer. I have a lot of autonomy and plan my own day. I'm also supported by a good line manager, with all my reasonable adjustments in place.

2 of my adult children are where you are currently. They burnt out so badly that it's taking them a very long time to recover and even think about working. I'm fine with the time it's taking, I'd rather have them mentally well.

You need to find the right job for you. My ex is autistic and has worked consistently throughout his life, i have several autistic friends who also have worked throughout their lives but they found work that suited them, science and engineering jobs often have a workforce that are made up of neurodiverse individuals! My dd is still finding her way but is earning as a musician. Everyone is different so you need to find an environment that suits you, my dd found bizarrely McDonald's was good because it was predictable.

I didn't say in my earlier post but I work in IT which definitely does have a higher than average number of neurodiverse people, and I love as unlike people computers will do exactly what you ask. However this and other STEM jobs are no good if you don't actually like that sort of stuff.

My adult DS is ADHD and works as a class 1 delivery driver. He's in his cab driving on his own most of the day. When he arrives at a delivery point he waits in his cab, fills out paperwork and gets signed then puts his headphones on until they unload him. It has worked well for him. He can't cope with smells especially (even perfume) but also noises, crowds of people all moving about and bright lights.