How was your first GP appointment? ADHD and PMDD

[TayceOnToast]

It seems I’ve been suffering badly with emotional regulation, and rejection sensitivity (my whole life, but amplified recently with recent life events) as well as the usual distraction, disorganisation, time blindness etc.

Been doing all the googling of course and my current suspicion is that I might have ADHD and PME (pre menstrual exacerbation - I.e. ADHD symptoms which are exacerbated before my period)

Of course I don’t know any of this for sure, and have been advised by a counsellor to see my GP so I’ve booked an appointment, coming up in a couple of weeks.

I guess I just want to hear from anyone who has already been to see their doctor about similar concerns. How did that conversation go, what did they ask, how did you answer? How do I talk about this to a doctor?

I’m worried that the doctor won’t believe me if I’m having a “good day” on the day of the appointment- it’s hard to even believe myself sometimes because when I feel good I feel amazing and the “bad days” feel like such a distant memory, even if they were only last week.

I have also looked into Right To Choose and getting a private assessment under a shared care agreement. Is this something I should mention at my first appointment? I can’t really afford to do the private assessment right away anyway, but if it’s important to keep the ball rolling I suppose I could take out a loan.

Love to hear anyone’s experiences and happy to answer any questions about mine.
Thanks. X

Bump 🥹

Sending you hugs, OP xxxxx I don't know the answer as I'm right at the start, but wanted to show you I'm reading

They will ask you why you think you have ADHD and give reasons/examples. Write everything down and take it with you as your mind will go blank.

Thanks for the replies ❤️ I just started reading (listening to audiobook on Spotify) “It’s not a bloody trend” by Kat Brown which was recommended by a counsellor I just started seeing. It’s a very reassuring read and has already given me the confidence to say what I need to say in the GP appointment.

Also feel the need to share this in case it’s useful to anyone, as I feel it could be a total game changer for me (currently hanging on by a thread at work and struggling!)-

I’ve just learned about a government scheme on another mumsnet thread called Access To Work which provides support to people with “disabilities” to help them get or stay in work. The list of disabilities includes ADHD and you don’t need to be officially diagnosed. Support can include 1-2-1 coaching sessions, paid for by the government.

Thanks for that tip.
hopefully GP will be helpful but be prepared there is a very long waiting list for assessment at the moment (8years plus for adults)

Yeah I know about the long waiting lists…

I’m considering asking for Right To Choose (my understanding is this is still NHS but quicker as it’s online through a private provider? Can anyone clarify?)

or asking for a shared care agreement with a (paid) private diagnosis - which is even quicker still?

Are GPs generally very clued up on this stuff? None of the ones I know are. They will just stick in a referral to the endless waiting list and leave it at that I should think.

GPs have the right to refuse to shares care with a private provider and increasingly many are doing so I'm afraid. Check the practice website

I don't think they take kindly to people who have already decided they have specific conditions. Keep it factual, to your symptoms and the impact they have on your life, especially at work. A symptom diary is helpful for women's health conditions. They will ask about lifestyle, if you have already made positive changes say so. Referrals, if offered, will involve a long wait due to the throttling of the NHS.

Thank you this is a good reminder

Just to add - a lot of GPs (not all, obvs) are woefully under-informed about autism and ADHD. I was literally laughed at by our family GP when I suggested autism as a possible explanation for my DD’s issues - she was subsequently diagnosed and now has an EHCP). If you get one of those, don’t be put off and seek a second opinion if needed.

Hello OP, saw PMDD and needed to respond, I also wonder if my PMDD is related to ADHD, two of my children are awaiting ADHD diagnosis, learning about it through them has made me wonder if that’s what I am struggling with too. I have no real advice to give you just wanted to remind you you aren’t alone 💐

Thanks for the replies. Just came back from my appointment and was informed they can’t even put me on the waitlist for a referral because my symptoms aren’t “that bad” (they only refer people with “sever mental health needs” — so my situation of being depressed, crying uncontrollably ALL THE TIME, unable to find or stay in work and self harming out of frustration is not bad enough.
Basically they are swamped with ADHD enquiries at the moment and GP openly admitted that the process is sloppy even if I were to go for a private assessment. She couldn’t guarantee how easy it would be to get medication if I was prescribed them by a private provider. It’s an ever evolving situation at the moment and she said they are literally meeting this week to discuss whether the practice will support the “right to choose” pathway. She also said she’s cynical about private assessments because she is “yet to see a private assessment come back negative”. She said all the right things but I couldn’t help coming away feeling like she kind of thought I was just being silly, that I didn’t really have ADHD but I could just pay someone to agree with me.
She offered me an anti-depressants which would make me worse for 4-6 weeks before feeling better, which terrifies me. My life is already a fucking shambles.
The whole thing was a head fuck.

If anyone reading this is considering going to the GP about ADHD symptoms I would advise really considering if it’s worth it given the state of things at the moment. You may be better off quietly self-diagnosing and getting on with your life with ADHD specific self-help tools that are available online and from books etc. Maybe things will change in years to come but it really doesn’t feel like now is the time to be accessing support from the NHS for adult adhd.

I’m really sorry you’ve had such a negative experience, that is very upsetting to hear. Sadly this mirrored our first experience at the GP too, and CAMHS were even worse. It’s a form of gaslighting: the whole system is overloaded but it’s easier for medics, schools etc to fob you off than acknowledge there’s a problem, because that would require them actually trying to address it. So you have two options:

1. Go privately if you can. I did for myself and DC and the diagnoses were all accepted by school, the LA, DWP etc because I made sure when choosing who to see that they were experienced, reputable and followed the NICE guidelines, and nobody can really argue with that. As for the GP’s idiotic comment, of course most assessments come back positive because those who have got to the assessment stage have either met the criteria for referral (NHS) or are certain enough they’re ND to be willing to pay thousands for an assessment (private).
2. Push for NHS: seek a second opinion and perhaps take someone with you who can advocate if you become overwhelmed. Then if you still get fobbed off, fight: ask them, in writing, to confirm why you don’t meet the criteria for referral when you show well-documented traits and are experiencing high levels of mental distress including self harm. Ask for the outcome of the meeting about right to choose. Refer to the NICE guidelines and hold them to account. Im afraid that, as with anything like this, the squeaky wheel gets the oil, and these systems rely upon the fact that most people who present to them are already in crisis so are unlikely to have the strength to fight for themselves.

Sending you solidarity 💐

ETA: Obvs these are only options if you feel you need a formal diagnosis. Self-diagnosis is completely valid and there are so many excellent resources out there now. WRT work, you can still ask for reasonable adjustments without a formal diagnosis and your employer is obliged to provide these.

OR
3…Pretend none of this ever happened and just go back to all the coping strategies I’ve already developed in the 36 years I’ve been alive, with the added comfort of knowing that there may be a neurological reason for some of my struggles, and a legitimate reason for some of my oddball coping strategies (which, surprise surprise, are remarkably similar to ADHD coping techniques).

This is what my DB decided to do. I was determined to get an official diagnosis (you could say it became something of a fixation 😬) but he was like nope, I’m saving myself the hassle/expense but at least I understand my odd brain a bit more! Seems to work for him, but it didn’t for me - there’s no right answer. You can always let it percolate for a bit and see how you feel in a few weeks/months, but with things as bad as you describe it sounds like you may well benefit from a diagnosis and treatment. And you do sound very ADHD in your presentation, FWIW. It’s awful to think how many people are struggling like this, and SO frustrating.

You could decide to take the GP up on the antidepressant and ask for one that has some benefit for ADHD. The best one is bupropion but largely not available in the U.K. however venlafaxine, especially at higher doses, can also be helpful and is quite commonly prescribed: usually you only feel worse for 1-2 weeks before the benefits start. Might be worth a shot?

Weird happening. Had to phone surgery this afternoon on behalf of someone else. During call I blurted out I wanted an appointment for adhd. And there was a cancellation so I drove straight there, saw a doctor who said he thought I had strong symptoms and he referred me.

They can do right to choose, I just need to identify a provider and let surgery know.

Or if private I can do that, get medication, and once I'm stable the surgery will take over prescriptions.

Not sure I want meds tbh, however I just can't stop so need something to slow me down.

So it's all happening.