Always on the periphery

[Everestisthebest]

Just wondering if anyone else relates to this feeling? My entire life i have felt this way..the odd one out. Part of the group but not really, trying to understand and integrate but not having a clue how and when I do I end up being annoying (i have unfortunately been told this and shown it through body language). It has gotten to the point where I no longer want to try to participate in groups because it's just too difficult for me and leave feeling worse.

Possibly autistic, possibly childhood trauma from a critical mean judgemental father not sure!

Yeah I have a theory that NT people’s brains can detect when a brain is ND and subconsciously push us away as being too different. Not all NT of course but I find this has been my experience. I’m just not on their wavelength.

Yes. It's like I'm on the outside looking in most of the time. Group dynamics are too difficult and confusing. I can sometimes mask and hold it together for a conversation, but not long term and I get ghosted. I hate the rejection for being myself.

It's not everyone though. I have a dh of 20 years so I do click with some people.

This is a very common experience for autistic folks - it is a social communication disorder for a reason! We can learn to mask better if we want to, but that is exhausting, so hanging out with people who 'get you' will be a much more positive experience.

This is an interesting article about how well autistic people communicate with each other - www.pure.ed.ac.uk/ws/portalfiles/portal/149282333/1362361320919286.pdf