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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

This isn't a subtle boast as it may come across, I'm losing my mind

7 replies

TiredEgg · 13/10/2024 06:45

So for context I am a lone parent with adhd and suspected autism, I also have an autoimmune disease so it can be a tall order sometimes even without issues.

My DS is 2 (30 months) and is really starting to concern me. He's had a significant speech delay until about 6 months ago when suddenly his speech seemed to come on all of a sudden, he isn't quite caught up with his peers just yet from a speech point of view, however there are areas where he seems to be way ahead of the curve. He has developed an obsession with numbers and letters, he's counting confidently to 200, counts in multiples of 2, 5 and 10, he does the alphabet forwards and backwards without really thinking. He can name all the planets and the days of the week but only if they're in the right order.
While obviously I am proud of him, this I'm all he wants to do, day and night. It's relentless.

He wakes me up around 4 30 am every single day, either counting or reciting the alphabet while shouting it in my face until I get out of bed, if I don't get up straight away and I tell him he needs to go to sleep he banshee screams and tries to hurt me. He used to sleep through the night from 6-6 however he now wakes up anywhere between 11 and 1am every single night and tries to get in my bed,I've made multiple attempts to put him back in his own bed but everytime I do it ends up in a meltdown with him trying to hurt me or throwing himself around to the point I'm worried he's going to hurt himself, the longest meltdown was well over 4 hours and I had no choice to put him in my bed because we live in a terraced and I really dont want to upset the neighbours.

Once we're up he counts and recites the alphabet for the entire day, he counts anything he sees, even tries to count the hairs on my head. He will only play with puzzle boards, an alphabet one, a number and maths symbol one, and a planets one,however I usually have to hide them because if a piece is missing and I can't find it he has a meltdown, they must be complete.

Nursery have noticed the same things and that he doesn't want to join in with other children or activities,he just wants to count. They are blown away by his ability but also concerned.

The difficulty I have is I'm exhausted,it's affecting my work, keeping on top of housework and cooking. We were previously working with a home play team referred by the health visitor, HV suspects autism/ocd and nursery agree, but it seems to be a box ticking exercise to get support and unfortunately he doesn't tick alot of the necessary boxes to pursue diagnosis.

I'm a bit at a loss and my boss is starting to notice my performance dipping, I feel constantly anxious and tense.

Not even sure what I'm looking for here really, maybe just someone who can relate or offer and advise or insight.

Thanks

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 13/10/2024 11:10

Push for a diagnoses for him so you can have support in place at nursery/school.

Is there scope for him to attend nursery for more hours to give you a break?

Does he watch TV? If you could find some videos that speak to his interests that might also give you a bit of downtime. Obviously, don't use excessively, but a bit of time the TV is fine, particularly if it's high quality stuff like Number blocks/Alpha blocks

Does he know phonics sounds? Can he blend? Can he read? This may be something to work on if he's interested.

With play activities, accept what he's interested in (even if it seems unusual) and lean into it. Give him things to count/order/sort, alphabet blocks, number blocks etc.

FabulousPharmacyst · 14/10/2024 07:00

Hyper numeracy is closely linked with a diagnosis of ASD.

AnnonymousMum · 15/10/2024 16:15

Look up Gestalt language processing, hyper numeracy and hyperlexia.

PolaroidPrincess · 15/10/2024 21:03

I can totally understand why you would be so exhausted. We never got anywhere with the HV or the School. In the end it was the GP who listened and did a referral for assessment.

PolaroidPrincess · 15/10/2024 21:11

And don't worry @TiredEgg, I didn't take it as boasting at all Flowers

CharlotteLucas3 · 16/10/2024 21:40

Oh I have one of these op ....he turned twenty today!!

Mine didn't wake in the night but we did go along with what he wanted most of the time. He didn't end up at all spoiled because of it...he turned into a very well-behaved child. He just liked things to be 'right'. I'm afraid my son ended up spending an awful lot of time on the computer, mostly doing puzzles. I would just keep your son in bed with you because the meltdowns will be very disturbing to him. He won't want to be there forever so I'd just make life as easy as possible for now.

My DS is at uni now doing computer science....he got four A*s at A level in maths, further maths, computer science and economics. My maths is embarrassingly terrible and it amazes me that I gave birth to a maths genius😁

CharlotteLucas3 · 16/10/2024 21:43

Oh just to add, you'll probably find that as he gets older and better at communicating, he won't have as many meltdowns. Currently, he's got a brain that's highly developed in some ways, but not in others and that's causing a lot of frustration.

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