Question re my autistic friend

[BettyByron]

Hello,
I hope it’s ok for me to ask your advice. I recently made a new friend who early on told me that he is autistic and also has ADHD.
We planned to meet up today and I don’t know whether to remind him— if that would be helpful and reassuring—or annoying. I kind of feel aware that he might not want to and that is fine too. He said he didn’t have many friends and I get the sense that it might be hard for him to meet up, or remember to.

I have both and I would not need reminding. You are aware we are grown ups yes? If he doesnt want to meet you he will tell you.

Yes I am aware. Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound patronising.

It's nice that you are being thoughtful but it may come across as condescending if you remind him.

It’s more-so along the lines of maybe running late but not necessarily. Depends what he’s like as an individual, as AuDHD, and well ND in general, can present in a variety of different ways. For me personally I’m almost never late but it can be a mad rush right at the end!

How did it go?

Thanks for this. We had a lovely time!

I'm autistic and like reminders.

On the other hand, I'm autistic and I always need reminders because social appointments just don't stick in my mind.

My other half has ADHD, and can remember these things but has absolutely no time sense and is usually very late or will miss any appointment altogether if I didn't put reminders out there.

Yes, we're a weird couple.

Point is...the answer has to be "maybe, it depends".

It's fairly normal to text and say 'Are you still ok to meet up today?'. Especially if the meet up was arranged a while ago.

Glad you had a nice meal