Depression? Peri? Or 'just' ND?

[UniverseRewardsTheBrave]

I'm a late diagnosed AuDHDer in my early 40s. As you'll know if you're also ND, life is (and always has been) really hard. There's been a couple of periods in my life when I'm sure I was clinically depressed (before I knew I was ND), but it was usually directly related to a situation I was in and I never sought help.

Over the past year or so I've found it difficult to find anything other than fleeting happiness. I have some happy moments, but mostly just feel really apathetic about life. I don't have kids or a partner, and don't really have any hobbies other than walking my dogs. I do have a few good friends and they are probably the ones that keep me going.

The thing is, I'm not sure whether this is depression, perimenopause, or my ND. For example, I rarely do much on the weekends - but is this because I'm depressed or because I'm exhausted from a week of masking and general ND crap? Or is this peri mood issues? I know everyone says life is short, but to me it feels very, very long.

I guess what I'm asking is, do I just keep on keeping on here? I feel like my GP probably wouldn't be that interested, but at the same time, it's a pretty miserable life. Any other ND women experienced the same?

I've been through periods in my life like that OP and really, really struggled once the Peri kicked in.

Why do you think that your GP wouldn't be that interested? I've found mine to be really supportive and has listened to me and prescribed the type of HRT I wanted.

It sounds as though you might be depressed, Menopausal and in need of help. I'd definitely go and talk to your GP

Yes I have found the same. Apparently there's a link between ND and struggling with perimenopause etc.
Today I was wondering to myself as to why I'm so mentally weak.. And then i realised that I'm not weak and maybe it's the opposite .. Being ND means that our baseline level of life's issues causing overwhelm etc is really high & exhausting and so anything else on top can start to topple us. It's a bit late so I might not be making sense!
I eventually went to gp and went on an antidepressant. It has helped sooo much with my hormones. Made quite a difference to my life actually. I wish I hadn't left it so late to get help.
Thinking of you and hope you can get some support.
I also find it helpful listening to some podcasts/videos on late diagnosed autistic in women. They discuss all sorts of topics and it's a huge support to me to know I'm not alone.
Take care xx

I also find it helpful listening to some podcasts/videos on late diagnosed autistic in women. They discuss all sorts of topics and it's a huge support to me to know I'm not alone

I honestly hadn't thought to do this myself. Do you have any that you recommend?

Yes sure💕 - on Spotify there are podcasts like 'The Late Discovered Club' and 'The Other Autism'.
On YouTube there are ones like 'Suddenly Autistic', 'Purple Ella', 'NeurodiverJENNt', 'Mom on the Spectrum' and a couple by the guys 'Orion Kelly' I really enjoy his podcasts and there's also 'Adam James' he does loads of short clips too with his wife Becky who is AuDHD and he is NT.

For me my life has gone a bit haywire since my daughter only got diagnosed recently and she's 17 now.. Sadly because it was undiagnosed until now, (very high masking) it was only until she was completely broken mentally and physically did it all come to light. Things are much better now but the pennies keep dropping for the rest of usin the larger family circle! It explains soooo much and I'm 48 so right in the throes of perimenopause and have really struggled with it for the last maybe even 10+ years..it started slowly where hormones would only be a problem for a day or two (mid-cycle) and then it gradually crept up to nearly the whole month.. Horrendous but everything is starting to make sense now and I'm learning to make accommodations for myself.
Anyway, why I'm saying all that is that all my time is trying to help my daughter (and my other daughter most likely is nd too) so these podcasts keep me going as I haven't managed to get to the support groups yet in person.
Xxx