Hi all
I have a demanding job managing a caseload of people in a supportive capacity, to help them turn their lives around. Think lots of trauma and unpleasant things getting put onto you and you need to sort it out/work within timescales for contacting them etc (not Probation as much as that sounds similar).
I’ve been on the verge of ADHD burnout for a while now I feel - lacking motivation to do anything, crying on an evening not wanting to go and then it taking me all my time to even do a tiny, simple task.
Lately it seems management have been doing things which are more triggering to me and making me feel worse. Think being unclear in communication, not responding when I need to know something or asking for help, making last minute changes and saying sole WFH days aren’t allowed anymore (their solution to office work/noises distracting me is to go to our new client room to sit alone, rather than saying I could have some regulating WFH days - I only ever did 2 a week and they can see what work we input).
It seems they will only want to speak to me face to face and can’t send a quick reply to an email / Teams, even when having read it.
The latest issue being they decided to give me an extra ‘new person’ appointment in the week without asking me first whether the time/date was okay. This is non-standard as I have a set time I take new people. It isn’t okay with me, due to a childcare/school and nursery collection issue for this week only, so I advised of this but offered a couple of alternatives and they told me that was fine and they’d change it to what I’d offered.
They then didn’t, contacted someone with an appointment later and re-arranged them into the time I’d said I couldn’t do, then messaged me a very confusing message I could barely make sense of, but I think(?) still asking me to do that appointment I’d already said I couldn’t and it’s still showing in my diary as mine.
I had re-emailed and stated I could only do a latest time of X if they wanted that day doing but I couldn’t risk being stuck and leaving my children stranded. This was yesterday and they still haven’t got back to confirm.
I feel constantly in a state of RSD and worry, panicking I’ve done something wrong or that because I ‘look’ like a capable and intelligent person, they just are forgetting, purposely or not. I’m only this way because it takes a huge mental effort to mask and I’m then exhausted at home and guilting myself for not being the happiest parent ever.
I desperately want a new job anyway but this is making it worse and I’ve got the joyous ADHD struggle of talking myself out of any new job/not knowing what else I could do.
Has anyone else been through this or have any advice to get me out of my own head and feel a bit better?