Feeling overwhelmed by ADHD assessment report. Anyone else feel the same?

[leo1988]

Hi 😀

I was diagnosed with ADHD combined type on Thursday. I’m 35 and although I’ve struggled with lots of things my whole life, it was only very recently I realised it could be ADHD and being the all or nothing person I am, I very quickly booked a private assessment (I appreciate I am very lucky to be in a position to have done this). I found the whole process of seemingly endless questionnaires, the interview which was over 2hrs and having someone that knows me well to be interviewed and do questionnaires really draining.

I’ve now received the report and whilst logically I know it has to document all of my difficulties, I couldn’t help but feel like I’d been punched in the stomach. Is this a common reaction do you think?

It’s left me with very mixed feelings. I have an autistic son and I have always wanted him to be proud of his identity, so I feel I need to set an example and be proud of mine too, but the report has left me very hung up on all the negative ways ADHD impacts me, rather than the positive ways (such as being amazing in urgent situations).

I think I’m just struggling to process it all and would love to hear others experiences of how they felt post diagnosis.

Thank you to anyone who responds.

Yes I think it's pretty emotional having it all written down there. Especially as there is no real debrief about it.

Have you read about the grieving process and ADHD diagnosis? This was helpful to me.

Thank you @BertieBotts it’s really good to feel like I’m not alone. I have and I’d read about it beforehand yet for some reason almost dismissed it as not something I’d go through - how wrong I was! I can’t quite get over how different it feels saying I think I have ADHD and scored highly on some questionnaires vs now actually having a formal diagnosis and almost every box on the symptom list being ticked on the report.

Dod you tell family and friends? What about work? I feel like I want to share it with people but am scared of making myself vulnerable. Although a couple of people I’ve told have said yes they always thought I have ADHD but just never thought it their place to mention it!

I did tell family and friends but haven't told any workplaces - I was diagnosed a few years ago now. I feel like there's too much stigma to reveal to work and I didn't need any accommodations so I just treated it as useful info for me. If I was struggling or likely to be dismissed, or I felt there was specific support they could offer me, then I might bring it up.

Hello I struggled going from thinking I had adhd to knowing I had adhd. I went into total denial and for the last year I've gone back and forth on that feeling. 🫂 I haven't really told people because I'm the inattentive type so don't present in a way people expect. I did how ever join ADHD adults UK discord server and it's been great for support and understanding.

https://www.adhdadult.uk/ it's under the community forum x

I'm in the process so interested how the report is worded

@leo1988 how are you feeling now that some time has passed? I hope you're doing ok.
I'm going to read my report later today and am already upset after being diagnosed on Monday. I was pretty sure I'd meet the criteria but like pp said, suspecting and knowing are quite different and I've been searching the older threads on this to find more info to help process things.

I went through the NHS and Adult ADHD Foundation so I didn't get a report as such just a formal confirmation of my diagnosis and flavour of ADHD. I did have a similar experience to yourself with my dyslexia assessment though - the language in that was very much focused on all that I couldn't do - it left me feeling very low and ashamed of myself.

The thing to remember is that it's not a personal or moral reflection of you - the report is deliberately written to provide evidence for any future reasonable adjustments or accommodations. You presumably wouldn't need help with the things you are good at so it focuses on weaknesses you need help with.

For me I absolutely disclosed to my employer the report and what I needed for accomodations - I have also become more vocal in telling colleagues about what I need and why. For example I will explain to them they can't just tell me a task - they need to email it or put it in the calendar otherwise it doesn't exist for me!

Obviously though it's just what you are.most comfortable with. I've become more vocal because I want to normalise ADHD in my corner of work - it's nothing I should feel ashamed and embarrassed of, my brain just works differently from factory settings.

I hope you feel better soon about your diagnosis I get why initially it can be a big shock and make you feel down.

How did it go @AuADHD ? Are you feeling ok?

I shall be honest, I completely forgot I’d posted on here and then found an email with a notification and reading my initial post now doesn’t resonate with how I feel at all. I can honestly say that it’s the best thing I have ever done for myself. I was down for a while but then I had some coaching sessions and started meds and it has transformed my life. I cried at the end of the first day I took meds I was so emotional reflecting on a day I had just written a list of things to do and actually sat and done them!

I still struggle with certain things, especially in the lead up to my period when my meds don’t seem to work so well, but I no longer feel like an incapable person. I’m kinder to myself and I don’t beat myself up anywhere near as much as I did before. Time blindness is still a big issue, particularly in the morning when my meds haven’t kicked in and if we are running late for the school run I just say to myself what I’d say if we were late due to one of my ND children not having a good morning - better we arrive regulated than on time. Most areas of my life have significantly improved, work and the sense of accomplishment I get from that which has boosted my self esteem and the routines I have in place now for food shopping and keeping on top of the washing etc mean I’m not in the permanent state of chaos I was before.

I really hope you are feeling ok @AuADHD

Thank you @PorridgeShotgun I have started to do the same ❤️ I want the organisation I work for to be more ND friendly and for us to be more open and sometimes we need to be the change we want to see eh xx

Thank you for your reply. I'm glad you are getting on well with the meds and I wonder if I will too when it's finally an option. I've been totally disgusted today which is why I'm still downstairs at nearly 1am instead of in bed. I've not been able to eat lunch or dinner today so have eaten only rich tea biscuits and a few Cheddars just now. My hunger is either off or I feel sick and need to eat. No in between. I'm knackered yet wired and have been hyper focused on my latest Lego build. I was ok until today and it's all gone to pot.