Is my brother neurodivergent?

[ChezSui]

I know I won’t actually get a diagnosis like this, nevertheless…

My DB is in his 40ies. I’m a few years younger.

I always thought he was weird for the lack of a better world. He had no friends apart from one at school. Very set in his ways already as a child, young teen. He had hobbies such as building paper models (cars, planes…) with incredible focus. Also collecting stones, insects. Very anti social, I was basically ashamed to be associated with him as a teen myself.

He is still what I would describe as ‘weird’ - again lack of better word. He does have a bigger social circle now but sometimes it still seems like people get annoyed with him and he doesn’t take the hint.

It’s only in last few years where we are hearing so much about neurodiversity I started wondering if he is somewhat affected.

Where he is and the nature of our relationship he is unlikely to ever get formal diagnosis. I don’t know if he ever wondered himself. But it feels to me like it would explain so much. I definitely didn’t enjoy being around him when growing up - kind of resent the thought that if he is ‘different’ and if we were aware of that our childhood could’ve been very different and also his adulthood.

OP I hate to be the one to break it to you but has it occurred to you that you may not have the best social skills yourself? It shows rather a lack of self-awareness to write a post about your ‘weird’ brother on a forum populated by neurodiverse people. I suggest that you focus your investigations on yourself and leave your brother alone.

No need to hate to break it to me. In any case my post got no traffic. I was going to post to AIBU but then thought I should post here.

I did say for lack of better word, but that is how I felt as a child and teen. Sure, some people will get offended by reading that word and won’t look beyond to see what I’m actually saying in the post.

Focusing on myself and leaving my brother alone. That will not help me understand. If anything will do the opposite. I’m sure neurodivergent people have challenges in the world that is mainly neurotypical. My brother maybe is not anyway, I don’t know. But our family dynamic had an impact on me as a child and teen. And if he is in fact neurodivergent impact on him was even greater as there was zero understanding or support.

We just don’t know. And as I said will not get diagnosed through here but it would’ve been interesting to hear what people have to say - especially people who actually are experiencing things first hand.

Popping in to a board for ND people and asking if your brother is ND because he is 'weird' is tone deaf, at best.

Why does it matter to you? It doesn't sound like you are close, merely that you are reflecting on childhood. If he isn't bothered, and really asking randoms on the internet won't get you answers anyway, maybe reflect on why you are asking and if there is a need in yourself to unpack some of these childhood experiences rather than speculating about your brother's needs.