hyperfocus and how to respond

[dumpertruckbigmouth]

My son is 23 and awaiting assessment. However, his MH workers are pretty sure he is neurodiverse and probably AuDHD (father and brother are autistic).

I just want some advice about how to respond to what may be hyperfocusing and 'information dumping' (I do not like the term 'information dumping' but I cannot find a term that more accurately describes the behaviour).

His hyperfocus is always on something mechanical: cars, trains and now aircraft of WW2. He has the fantastic ability to read or listen to vast amounts of information and then reel of swathes of facts and intricate detail.

I call it 'fascinating' because I can never remember anything and have to make copious notes about subjects I am supposed to have learned years ago!

Because we live together (his father is in a care home and his brother is in supported living), I am his main audience.

I listen intently to what he has to say. I praise his ability to learn and recall, but, apart from some fantastic narratives of 'Ace' fighters or the history of certain engineering companies, I cannot process the sheer amount of facts he delivers.

Please could you give me a little advice about how I can gently persuade my son to limit his output a little, without hurting his self esteem (he has very poor MH).

Any advice would be helpful.

Can you help him find some further outlets for his special interests; online groups, writing, related course of study etc?

@maracoca,

Yes, that is a great idea. He has purchased some books and he started a You Tube channel for his car interest (this was short lived). I feel a course would be fantastic for him, because he would meet people who shared his interest.

I have sent him a link to a Futurelearn course which he may be interested in, for a start.

Have you tried the SN adult children section? I appreciate you're struggling but... this is for neurodiverse mumsnetters. A place to let off steam, and discuss the very real struggles with feeling overwhelmed etc. Not a place to ask neurodiverse people to expend more intellectual and emotional energy (on helping you).

I feel for you, I really do, I have neurodiverse children. But I'm also getting really fed up of trying to find a space on the internet just for neurodiverse adults which isn't also actively used as an educational source and Q&A by partners of neurodiverse people or parents of neurodiverse children, especially when the person they're concerned about isn't yet actually diagnosed with neurodiversity.

@Attention Thank you.