Possible autism? 3yo

[Hope111]

I’m not sure I’m posting in the correct place. My son is 3 years 4 months old. To begin with I’m sure if it matters but has never met his “milestones” crawled at 1 yr and walked at 2 years. Talking now I would say he’s thriving, others would disagree. I understand him and he knows what to ask for so I don’t see why others disagree he’s very expressive but sometimes his frustrations make him moan and shout instead of speak when he can. His dad and uncle are autistic, forgive me for not knowing the correct terminology but their autism is mild, I also myself have a cousin with Asperger’s. My post is to ask, how can I help my son who shows signs of autism, he flaps his hands at excitement or pretty much to evening he flaps, he covers his ears all day even when I’m not sure the reason, he cries at the tv, cartoons specifically, easily overstimulated, cries when he is excited for example telling him he is going to nanny’s makes him happy but he cries almost immediately at the same time trying to get us all to leave asap collecting our shoes etc. lately though he is a different boy, he’s whiney and unhappy all day no matter what I try, how can I help him, it is deeply upsetting, in fact it’s killing me to see him this way without knowing what to do. I will admit although he is 4 in January he hasn’t started nursery, he will start this September and tomorrow I will be going to the doctors to ask for help. He screams all day, runs in circles when happy or sad, sometimes runs up and down the hallway for 30 mins or more but he is laughing hysterically while doing so. How can I help him, what do I do, he is very affectionate, loves attention, craves it in fact even if he has had it all day. I find it hard to go into any more detail without making this post a literal book, I just need some word of wisdom, there are many other traits he has but I don’t want to go on. I do want to say I have introduced messy messy play, to help him sensory wise which he loves,
I say messy messy because my house is wrecked after but I’ll do anything to help him, this calms him but it is short lived

Apologies, did not realise how long this is

Go to your GP and ask for a referral to camhs (children and young people's mental health services) the may refuse to help as he is a little younger than most, but you need his support in place before he starts school because otherwise his symptoms could become more pronounced. You need to think back to when he has become frustrated and lashed out, ask yourself is it noisy (even if you don't think it is, ie lots of sounds occurring at once, speaking music for instance) has there been crowds has it been a new environment was there a lot of decorations on the walls, at nursery does he have a favourite object that he carries around constantly and if another child has it does he get upset, does he have little rituals he has when you go for a walk such as running his had on every wall, close every gate you pass, if so the are also indicators of being autistic, I speak from experience both me and my son are classed as high functioning autistic, be aware that the only difference between high functioning and low functioning is high functioning means you can speak it doesn't mean that you can mainstream I can but my son can't. Hope this helps you decide what to do