Bra help for Autistic Adult

[Glittersmoke]

Hello
My adult daughter is Autistic and has many associated traits including sensitivity to fabrics and fit. She’s a broad lady with very generous boobs ( lucky her!) and I’m finding it impossible to get her a decent bra that also gives enough support. Her Molkie bras were good for comfort but the fit isn’t good and offer little support and have now fallen apart
she won’t tolerated being measured in a shop and no matter what I look at I can never get her measurements right at home either!
I need to find her a bra that is
soft
pull on preferably
no underwire
will fit a larger back and bust ( GG+ at least)
preferably pink ( it’s her thing)
any help will be very appreciated as I look daily but can’t find the ideal one and as they are so expensive getting several isn’t an option really
thanx so much!

Any recommendations please?

Bravissimo do the Nova and Cici in pink. If your DD agrees to a fitting, do not let the fitters put her in too-small a back size, they have a tendency to do that and I am wearing a bra extender with my Nova because of that. You may have to advocate for her on this. Be aware that a modern bra can feel fine during ten minutes in the shop but be agony after a few hours.

I recommend not measuring but going to a branch (not on Saturday because of crowding) and trying on. Bras with the same nominal size vary wildly in fit and comfort.

You will not get underwire-levels of support from a bra that your DD can wear with her sensory sensitivities. It's best to accept that and work with it when buying clothes.

You posted during the work day and many of us have jobs. A four hour absence of replies is not unreasonable.

Thanx

You came across in your "bump" as impatient to me and it made me feel pressured. I don't cope well with that feeling.

I hope that your DD gets a bra that works for her.

I was trying to convey a request to be more patient please and I failed at that.

Something that has really stuck with me - a psychotherapist I was working with (in training, rather than therapy) pointed out that bras are a constant tight band around our ribs - this constant feeling of restriction can cause or worsen anxiety (as it can feel like breathing is restricted).

I tend to wear stretchy, low/mid support sports bras - the best ones I've found are from a yoga brand called the girlfriend collective (high necks, so I don't feel like my boobs are constantly spilling over the top).

I don't like bravissimo - I feel like they fit you like they would fit someone into a corset - very tight bands and all about how your boobs look, rather than comfort. If I wear the size they tell me I am in bravissimo the band leaves a red mark (yes, my boobs look perkier). But I try not to wear anything that leaves a mark on my body.

Actual steel-boned corsets are tight on the waist and lower ribs, not the mid ribs where a bra strap sits. I sometimes use them for the same reason that owners of anxious dogs use thundershirts.

The sensation difference is considerable.

Bravissimo fitters put me in bras that cause me pain.

I have this bra (in white) https://www.marksandspencer.com/flexifit-non-wired-full-cup-bra-f-h-/p/clp60646303#intid=pid_pg1pip48g4r11c2

but the one linked is sort of pink. The one linked is cup size F-H, but they do do A-E as well. They go up to a 44 band size, but also markies do extenders as well (both in 2 hooks and 3 hooks sizes, depending on how many hooks the bra has).

I find them very comfy, and the majority of the time I don’t notice them. I am a 44G. They’re not as supportive as an under wired bra, but they do support well.

they also do a crop top style in the same pattern and flexifit style. They go up to a 22 dress size but the reviews say it comes up small. I have not tried it so cannot comment. https://www.marksandspencer.com/flexifit-printed-crop-top-bralet/p/clp60438345?prevPage=srp#intid=pid_pg1pip48g4r7c4

The problem with extenders is that they make the shoulder straps too far apart so that they slide off your shoulders. It's best to try to get the correct size bra.

Not been an issue for me. I am between a 44 and 46 back size plus like it not too tight, so works fine for me. Was more of a if the band size doesn’t go big enough then they have these. The op said her daughter was broad, so was just covering all bases. I’ve never found any comfy, affordable, easy to buy bras in my back size, so that is why I use them.

I didn't really mean a literal corset - I just meant that often bras are treated as a means of making women's bodies look different to how they naturally would, at the expense of their comfort. But I have never worn an actual corset, so possibly not a great analogy.

I agree re Bravissimo - I am very narrow around the ribs (though not everywhere - pear shaped), so they want to put me in a 28 or 30 back - it is so tight on one of the few parts of my body that doesn't have much padding. That said, I don't get on with a bigger band either, as it just rides up my back. This is why I stick with light support yoga bras for the most part! My boobs do look perkier and neater in the underwired torture bras, but why does it matter? You don't see men trussing themselves up in the same way.

Edited to say sorry that this ended up being a bit of a rant! Sorry for no real help, just a rant op.

Most of women's clothes are treated as a means of making women's bodies look different to how they naturally would, at the expense of their comfort.

• Tight waistbands.
• Skirts that let your legs get cold.
• Itchy tights.
• Polyester.
• Drop sleeves on tops so you can't wear a jumper over without the fabric rucking up and the sleeves getting pulled up your arms.
• Base metals in dress zips that sit next to the skin to give me an allergic reaction.
• Ballerina shoes that won't stay on my feet.
• High heels.
• No pockets.
• Handbags that have stupid short straps so you can't put them across your body and you have to hold them up on your shoulder to stop them from slipping off.
• Jeggings: like skinny jeans but without pockets and a zip.
• Clothes that don't have anything like enough space in the front for even C cup boobs, never mind HH cups.

Bras are just another aspect of that and one that the absence of stops the other garments from having a prayer of fitting properly or hiding one's nipples. Who thinks "I know, I'll make see-through shirts"? Apparently every clothes seller does.

So true.

@Glittersmoke Would you get some more Molke bras? Was your DD not happy with the level of support? I find them an absolute god-send, and don't care very much if they aren't as supportive as an underwires bra!

I think I’m going to have too after looking elsewhere
I bought her a 2xl mega? Didn’t fit
so after talking to them a XL super ( but I think the cups are too small)
i don’t know what combo to try next!

I wish I could offer advice.

I have HH whomps and I would love to have a bra that offered support, comfort and was made from a nice fabric, but I have to freeboob it.

I am hopping on to your post to try any options that people might suggest

How do you freeboob without them hurting when you run for a train?

@VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia every word 👍

I’m a different size/shape but I’ve found racer back bras can be more comfortable and feel more secure. I mostly wear t shirts so the straps don’t show. Might be something to consider

Sorry, I typed a reply to this ages ago and must not have submitted.

I'm afraid the answer is really simple. I don't run 😂

Being of short stature, and autistic and anxious about times, I'm always embarrassingly early because even if I did run my legs are that short I wouldn't get any where fast.

Once a year I decide I will wear bras and I spend a fortune on different cuts, fits, strap sizes, material, bone/less, adjustable, and I just can't find a bra that does not meet all the criteria I have which is: must fit no spilling over, must not slip down my shoulders, must not cut into my back fat, must be supportive, must allow me to breathe, must not make my boobs too sweaty, must not stick to me or have too much friction when putting on, and mustn't mean I've to hold my breath at any point in the application process.

It's always all for nought. The closest I got was these stretchy sports bras from Asda but they didn't survive many washes before they stopped stretching and sagged and then spillage occurred regularly.