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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

Are my workplace problems bc I am autistic or something else?

9 replies

autisticconsultant · 29/04/2024 22:12

  1. see previous history for more info
  2. have ptsd too from childhood violent and sexual abuse ( cruel, asian and boundariless parents who see children as property)
  3. Went to a good uni, spent one year doing philosophy, realised it was unemployable as a degree, went to another good uni, did finance
  4. spent a year interning in london asset managers and investment banks on the buy side
  5. now found current job in consulting
OP posts:
VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 30/04/2024 12:24

You come across as angry and defensive in a lot of your posts. Do you feel angry?

wilteddandelion · 30/04/2024 14:20

please stop blaming your work issues on your autism.

RobBeckettsGiantTeeth · 30/04/2024 23:26

No, your workplace issues are because you are argumentative, confrontational and extremely rude. Stop blaming it on autism. Plenty of other autistic people manage to get through life without being horrifically rude to people.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 01/05/2024 01:21

RobBeckettsGiantTeeth · 30/04/2024 23:26

No, your workplace issues are because you are argumentative, confrontational and extremely rude. Stop blaming it on autism. Plenty of other autistic people manage to get through life without being horrifically rude to people.

Plenty of other autistic people manage to get through life without being horrifically rude to people.

I don't always manage that and I often don't understand why people think I'm being rude either. Which is why I suggested that OP posted here in the Neurodiverse Mumsnetters board, where she might get some advice from people who've walked that path themselves.

If you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person. We are not all the same and some of us are a lot better at using words than others.

Everythingwinniethepooh · 02/05/2024 05:14

Having just read through all your threads, I think autism is a factor in the problems you're experiencing, yes. In particular, the flak you are getting on Mumsnet is mostly due to some of your brief and blunt replies to comments from others - and your creation of multiple threads on the same topic, which is breaking an unwritten rule of how people "should" communicate on here.

I don't personally read your comments as being as "rude" as a lot of posters do, because I have close friends who are autistic and are similarly brief and blunt without meaning to be rude! (I also have friends who are autistic who do not do this, just to be clear). So the fact that you provided the context of being autistic was enough for me to make the assumption that this is the reason you write like that. Unfortunately the advice given is correct in that you will continue to receive negative reactions from the majority of people when you respond in this way. It's annoying for you, because (I think) you are just trying to reply quickly and accurately and not waste time, but it's how most people expect communication to be - more blather added in to "be polite".

Hope that makes sense! (This short sentence is an example of blather, used to soften my comments above and try to instil a sense of "I'm trying to help" context to my words. This is important when typing because people can't hear my friendly tone of voice or see my facial expressions. It can also be important in person if, again due to autism, your facial expressions and tone of voice don't automatically match your intentions/how people expect you to look/sound in this context.)

Autism often includes difficulty with communication/social skills, and you have to try to learn the skills manually that most neurotypical folk can do automatically. This is especially important in a work context (or online forum) where people don't know you so won't assume the best. You've been offered a fair bit of advice on how to do this in your previous threads, such as adding certain lines or comments to demonstrate your intention to be polite, so I won't try to repeat that here.

Just to add - I'm not perfect at this either - so if anyone has read any of the above and objects to it, apologies in advance! Just trying to help OP out with my perspective.

johnd2 · 03/05/2024 09:21

RobBeckettsGiantTeeth · 30/04/2024 23:26

No, your workplace issues are because you are argumentative, confrontational and extremely rude. Stop blaming it on autism. Plenty of other autistic people manage to get through life without being horrifically rude to people.

There's a lot of irony in this reply!

Theothername · 03/05/2024 10:40

How did you get on as an intern?

TamanTun · 11/05/2024 16:38

@Everythingwinniethepooh what a great response. I have similar struggles and your words are kind and informative. I hope the OP is also helped by your post.

BlackeyedSusan · 15/05/2024 23:13

To be honest I find the "blather" rude as it's wasting time and not getting to the point... And you've got so much more to process and guess the interpretation of by which point you've not got a fucking clue of what they are on about.

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