Help me explain to DP why I need time to myself to decompress

[OnlyLoveCanBreakYourHeart]

I'm on the waiting list for a ASD evaluation. DP is an early bird, I'm a night owl. I need time at the end of day to decompress, to have time for myself because I feel overloaded. He thinks I just want to MN and drink wine and is sad that I don't want to go to bed when he does. He stays at mine Thursday and Friday nights. They are at the end of the working week for me, I'm exhausted, have given all my energy to work and I need time to myself to recuperate. I stay at his Saturday. By then, I've had a day off and some down time, so I go to bed when he does. He loves me being there, we cuddle up and fall asleep together, it's lovely, but he doesn't understand why I can't do that when he stays at mine. Can someone help me articulate why I do this to him? I'm not good with words and saying how I feel, but he feels rejected and I need to try to get him to understand that it's not personal. He knows about my ASD application but I don't think he really knows why I feel this way because I have spent my life masking. TIA.

What you've written there is clear enough to me.

Could you show him this post? I think you've put it perfectly.

I did manage to talk to him and articulated what I had written here. He said he gets it but I’m not entirely convinced. Thanks for your replies.

My response is probably not helpful <sarcasm alert>

"Because I'm disabled you fucking dickhead"

I may be a little bit stressed...

(Menopause/teens doing exams)

I’m not sure why you have to be the one doing the explaining - is he putting as much effort into trying to educate himself and understand? (Also menopause/exam teens)

deep breath….

Maybe talk to him about meltdown and shutdown and burnout. He might grasp it if you come from the other side - eg what can happen to an autistic person who doesn’t get the necessary rest/decompression.

And maybe challenge the validity of his perception of rejection (why does he think his feelings trump yours?). Male entitlement, social conditioning etc.
(menopause rearing its head again, sorry)