Brother, 55, diagnosed with autism- communication issues.

[TheGander]

I’m not sure if this is the best place to post so please feel free to suggest a more appropriate thread if there is one.
In a nutshell, my brother has struggled with mental health issues since at least early teenage. Our mother died 30 years ago, father 7 years ago. In their lifetime he was not (AFAIK) ever diagnosed with autism. Our father, very unfortunately had “ there’s nothing wrong with him, he needs to pull himself together” attitude, a huge fear of mental health stigma and of MH professionals. Ironically, he was probably neurodiverse himself. He was a barrier to DB accessing help ( they lived together). Brother has just been discharged from a mental health rehabilitation facility after a major breakdown, during which, amongst others, he had a diagnosis of ASD. During that time his house was comprehensively decluttered and deep cleaned ( if was hoarded and very dirty ).
I think he’s struggling to accept the new home even though to me it’s a massive improvement.
Trying to see things from his point of view. Does the autism mean the new arrangement of things, and missing objects is difficult for him? Is there anything else I should now bear in mind? I try and out low demands in him in terms of communication but it’s hard sometimes. Thanks for any advice.

Does the autism mean the new arrangement of things, and missing objects is difficult for him

I would think it might. My DD is on the pathway for ASD/ADHD abc she does appreciate me helping her a bit with her room but if it's anything more than the bear minimum she will get completely overwhelmed.

Is your DB getting anything like PIP which could potentially help to pay for a cleaner?

Thanks @CadyEastman . His benefits were re assessed when he went into a MH rehab facility she lost some . I know he was getting PIP before that. He now has a package of care and managing his household is one thing they are going to help with. I just hope he accepts the help, sometimes he doesn’t have much insight into his challenges. Our parents didn’t help by giving him zero preparation for independent life, but that’s a whole over story.

In short yes. I have ADHD and autistic traits. I recently decluttered my home and reorganised it (ADHD hyperfocus). I then couldn't understand why I hated it, I felt even worse, like I should like it and there must be something wrong with me. Why was I not functioning better in the space.

Then I read somewhere about spatial awareness and it made perfect sense. It takes time to reorientate to new spatial surroundings. It can upend routines and new ones need to be embedded. I personally think it can take about six months.

Routines are good, but not too much change at a time.

Thanks 2024horizons this is useful information. That confirms he’s trying to adjust and what I see as a massive improvement won’t necessarily register like that for him. I hope he eventually sees the advantages. For one thing, it was getting impossible for tradesmen to agree to take work on whenever anything needed fixing, as the environment was so awful.