Autistic burnout - any options that aren't nucelar?

[Staringoutofthewindow]

Hello

I'm reasonably certain I'm in autistic burnout. It's been ongoing for a year and everything just seems to be harder to cope with, and my mask is starting to slip more and more regularly. I'm in my 40s and was diagnosed last year (although I have had strong suspicions for years). I thought maybe it was perimenopause, but that's been ruled out now.

I ultimately know what the issue is - as I progress at work, more and more of what matters is social/leadership skills and these are what I find harder and where I question myself more. It means I am evaluating whether what I am doing/saying is 'right' 5x as much as usual. The diagnosis has made it worse in some ways as it's (to me) confirmation that I am bad at this stuff and therefore I do need the constant navel gazing.

I work in a long hours, high stress, well paid profession. I'm the main breadwinner. I've worked very hard to get where I am, and am just on the brink of promotion, but it's not guaranteed (and I got told yet again yesterday that despite being ranked as a top performer for the second year in a row, I still need to prove myself for the promotion I see colleagues getting pretty much automatically).

The nuclear option is to just give up, take a step back and accept that this is it and I've reached the limits of where I can get to career wise. I'm looking for other jobs but the reality it's it's likely to be same shit different place there, unless I take a step back.

It's just I don't want to - in general I like what I do, believe in what my company does, promotion wouldn't mean a material change in workload (so real risk pulling out of the process would just mean I'm paid less, with less recognition for exactly the same thing). I gone through so much to get where I am and I think my mental health would take a major hit if I gave up now. My job is a big part of who I am.

Has anyone been in a similar situation and found a way out without ducking out of the rat race entirely? Key people at work know I'm autistic but they don't understand what that means, and ultimately there's no autistic 'get out of jail card' that means I don't need to prove myself able to operate at the right level.

Are your employers aware of your diagnosis?
Do you want the promotion? What will the new role involve?

Get a coach who understands autism.

I have peaced out of the rat race and instead work part time. That means I will never have a "career", but I am ok with that.

Reading your op, it sounds like the problem here is your company and not your autism actually.

I mean, "I got told yet again yesterday that despite being ranked as a top performer for the second year in a row, I still need to prove myself for the promotion I see colleagues getting pretty much automatically" hmmmmm.

It sounds like they are discriminatory or promote based on who sucks up to the higher ups more and autistic people find that impossible to do.

I would challenge them or at least try to get in writing what is it they think you need to prove yourself in?

Anyway, taking a step back is ok. Your mental health is the most important thing. If you dropped dead tomorrow your job would put a job ad for your role by the end of the day.

Sorry to side track but how was peri menopause ruled out?

ignore if this isn’t relevant but many GPs are a bit ignorant about peri - m and rely on either blood tests or dismiss you if you’re not experiencing hot flushes, or a reduction in periods.

Blood tests are unreliable because you could catch a good day at random

Hot flushes are the only symptom that is unique to peri meno but there a zillions of other symptoms that could also be due to other factors. Basically oestrogen affects everything in the female body.

Periods can still be regular or even more frequent.

Peri can hit those of us with ND really hard.