How to trust diagnosis? NHS and private

[Nichebitch]

Hi. I hope your opinions help me getting somewhere with this. Long story of anxiety, getting worse in perimenopause (hrt not helping much in that respect), I have started reading about ADHD as I saw my child (6) displaying certain behaviours and I thought I could fit the profile too. My father is very obviously ND but undiagnosed.
Now, both my child and I have history of negligence and misdiagnosis with the NHS for other issues (I almost lost her twice, till she was referred to the GOSH and they saved her, she’s fine now).
On the other hand, I spent thousands in private healthcare and I know how those clinics can abuse the patients who are let down by the NHS by over prescribing and over diagnosing.
So, if I go to the NHS, I’m likely to be told I don’t have ADHD as I can’t offer much from my childhood (no one in the UK has known me as a child) and I’ve achieved enough in life by becoming a master masker… if I go private, I’m certain I’m going to be diagnosed, even if my struggles come from a different condition.
Not to drip feed, these are some of the issues that make me consider ADHD for myself: struggle understanding space, starting tasks, remembering stuff, losing things constantly, I can’t stand overlapping sound sources, I mimic everyone I meet, I sometimes get overwhelmed when child screams too much or similar and hit myself in the head, I have too many passion projects that don’t go anywhere, etc.

Thank you if you made it this far, any opinions are much appreciated.

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I'm not sure what your question is, is it about which route to go down?

You can ask the GP about Right to Choose and use a provider of your choice.

Thank you for replying, reading it back I can see it’s confusing.
I was wondering if I would be able to trust any diagnosis at all, given the tendency of under diagnosing by the NHS and over diagnosing by private providers. I guess I was looking for some reassurance about which way would be more likely to diagnose me properly.

I think you need to work out if you want a diagnosis or not. If you’re needing accomodations or meds then go private. What’s your goal here?

@LeotardsandDaisies I want a diagnosis, having spent money in therapy and having had antidepressants for quite a while with no success, I would like to know the right strategies - even if it’s just ways to approach life! that are specific to my condition, whatever that is, hoping it will work. My point is I’m scared of going private and being diagnosed just because I’m telling them this is what I have, but actually having something else and not getting better (again). Does it makes sense?

Makes complete sense, I get what you're saying.

I would say that ideally you need to find a private clinician who also works for the NHS, and tell them your anxiety about being mis diagnosed either way. You need a clinician with a strong track record whose clinical opinion is highly respected in their field (rather than someone cheaper and less well known, whose opinion you might worry could be "bought"). I'm not trying to say I think clinicians do that, I'm trying to acknowledge your worry and explain how I'd work with it if it were my worry.

Anyone who is experienced and knowledgeable should be able to grasp that you're longing for an assessment and a diagnosis, yet also scared in case you're a borderline case and it's a close call one way or the other and therefore worried you'd never be able to mentally put weight on your result either way.

@Exploding is right. Find a very established assessor with a lot of experience of NHS assessment who follows NICE guidelines to the letter in private practice. Consider spending additional time and money with them on preliminary conversations to air your concerns/discuss your personal history, especially if you need to untangle the effects of trauma etc. There may be options to do some preliminary screening and then decide if you want to go through with the assessment. NB. Many ADHDers are high functioning and how found occupational niches that play to strengths.

And there is nothing to stop you finding a private ADHD coach, discussing your functional problems, and trying ADHD-friendly strategies to see if they help. You don't need a diagnosis for this.

Thank you everyone, it makes sense to spend some time researching to find the right person. I’m trying to apply some ADHD strategies to make my life easier, which make me feel a bit silly given I’m not diagnosed - but whatever works I guess. The base is being kinder to myself so that can’t be a bad thing.