ADHD and find it hard to tolerate my family when I have PMS! Don’t want to be like this. Help!

[Adhdpms]

It has been suggested by my therapist a few times over the years that I have adhd. I haven’t got a formal diagnosis and don’t know if I am going to try and get one or not. But since researching it, it makes a lot of sense. I also have a child who does have an adhd diagnosis (he isn’t like me though - my hyperactivity seems to be anxiety and internal).

Anyway, for about a week before my period, I’m just really unable to filter myself around my family. My adhd son triggers me so much! He whines a lot, doesn’t listen, finds transitions really hard, is hyper, begs for tv and video games almost non stop, complains about everything we do.

My mother was a shouty bitch for the most part. And I desperately don’t want to be like her.

How do you get yourself under control when you’re premenstral?! I feel like all my filters disappear! I start to hate my husband, get annoyed by my children, and a fraction of it shows.

Help!!!

I totally sympathise. I am the same. Stuff like people chewing loudly or generally getting in my space or making tonnes of noise absolutely does my head in when I'm like that.. I don't have a solution but on the rare occasions when I have the self awareness to realise it's spiralling out of control, I just try to distance myself in whatever way possible. Give yourself a break and make things easier - make easy dinners, put headphones in when you can and listen to things that help distract you, go for walks whenever it's possible etc.

Medication helps a lot with this. I know that doesn't help if you're not diagnosed yet but if it gives you a reason to pursue it - it's useful.

I'm diagnosed and on adhd meds (which delightfully didn't work during the week before and first few days of your period) I've been put on the combined pill norinyl 1/50 it's one of the few with a higher dose of estrogen hormone and my irritability has improved vastly! I now take it back to back so I don't have a period at all and my mood swings are pretty stable!

ADHD here. Only thing that worked is progesterone only pill. No more rage. ADHD meds don't help PMS, though they help in other ways. I did used to use Evening Primrose Oil and am back on that. Exercise specifically something quite hard and intense. Also more walking. Avoiding sugar. Eating more wholegrain carbs before my period (the body needs carb to make progesterone, progesterone is the calming hormone that we make in second half of cycle, estrogen conversely thrives when we eat more healthy fats).

I have ass, and Adhd and ways suffered with my periods and now with the start of perimemopauze ots worse

Got diagnosed with pmdd, put on hormones and now a tiny blip not suicidal and hating everyone and dlfeeling a failure

Nsurodiverwe people suffer with hormones look up when my autism broke a qualitive study its very interesting

Can't remember where I read it but perimenopause is a critical window into future health, it is a major life transition when the brain basically reorganises itself. The number one thing I've been doing that helps is get more sleep. It was chronically underslept in my 30s, like 5 hours average a night. Still work in progress but sleeping more really helps. But have found getting more sleep in itself is a massive project incorporating everything from making my bedroom more sleep friendly, how I organise my day, sleep hygiene etc. But defo helps.

Hi Id really like to know how to deal with this myself. I'm diagnosed with adhd and I'm certain I have pmdd though have struggled to get that diagnosed. I'm really finding life hard atm and frequently want to leave my family so I can just be on my own. Ssris don't work for me an because my BMI is high I cannot have the pill and in my wisdom decided against adhd meds.

@BallerinaFall thanks for recommending that study. Excellent read.

I'm on ADHD medication and hrt and still struggling. :(

My normally quite useless 6 monthly check psychiatrist did actually suggest going to speak to GP about antidepressants for part of the month. But of course that requires making an appointment.... 😬

The combination of medication being less effective, having very low capacity for work or home stuff and feeling black and hopeless is just awful.

I do think the HRT has helped a bit. But I get in a right state and usually don't realise I'm there until I snap. 😢

I just wish I could not get sidetracked on the way to bed or put it off. It's like the transition to bedtime is too much when tired 🙈

Sitting here in my pjs since 7pm, as that getting changed bit feels the worst the later it gets. But usually I forget to do this, of course. 😏

YY I know what you mean. Getting changed earlier is a good idea. I find that interrupting myself and doing parts of the bedtime preparation earlier in the evening helps. Sometimes I can trick myself into going to get a drink or something and that's enough of a disruption to help me decide yeah actually I'll go to bed.

Sometimes if I get my pyjamas on I accidentally brush my teeth as well on autopilot. 😂 Bonus help to prevent reaching for an extra snack...

The problem overall is that I've not discovered a way to remember the tricks or stick to a routine. 😕🙄

Hi OP, I recommend following doctor Ali ajaz on tiktok if you've got it.

He's a consultant psychiatrist who talks about ADHD and AUTISM and advocates for better care for women and does some really informative videos on PMDD which up to 90% of autistic women have and a very high number of ADHD women do too although can't remember the exact figures.

He talks about vitamins and supplements that people with ADHD can take and how they work, in order to improve cognitive function, as well as the differences in glucose processing in ADHD which is beneficial in times of medication shortages or being unmedicated due to wait times

Very informative and I think you'd benefit from doing a scroll.