Autistic 16 year old

ntmdino · 15/03/2024 21:49

AuroraRose92 · 15/03/2024 19:24

My 16 year old girl is autistic. she regularly refuses school and school continued to mark her as unauthorised absence but most mornings she is having breakdowns at the thought of school. I have been to the GP on many occasions and been given doctor notes which the school have ignored. My mental health is now going down the drain. I cannot deal with this anymore. Her GCSE’s are coming up and she has not done any revision due to stress and exhaustion. Does anyone have suggestions.

Well, the first question is...why is she refusing school? You've already suggested that the school are ignoring direct medical communication, so is there something else going on that they're also ignoring?

Original poster

AuroraRose92 · 15/03/2024 23:21

ntmdino · 15/03/2024 21:49

Well, the first question is...why is she refusing school? You've already suggested that the school are ignoring direct medical communication, so is there something else going on that they're also ignoring?

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she’s refusing school because of her anxiety. she wakes up and feels extremely anxious and just cries at the thought. school has taken away a counseller. she’s asked for the counseller back as she needs support within school and they refused. the SENDco also never speaks to her. i’ve gone in for countless meetings and almost nothing has come for it except exam access arrangements which i am extremely greatful for. she is so bright but the school is ruining her future

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ntmdino · 15/03/2024 23:27

AuroraRose92 · 15/03/2024 23:21

she’s refusing school because of her anxiety. she wakes up and feels extremely anxious and just cries at the thought. school has taken away a counseller. she’s asked for the counseller back as she needs support within school and they refused. the SENDco also never speaks to her. i’ve gone in for countless meetings and almost nothing has come for it except exam access arrangements which i am extremely greatful for. she is so bright but the school is ruining her future

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That's absolutely shit, I'm so sorry :(

Unfortunately, I don't have any useful suggestions - I'm autistic, and I've never had to deal with the parental side of it. I was really just asking to get a bit more detail in case anyone else has more of a clue.

If the school's that far gone, and she's in her GCSE year, just in practical terms you may have to consider the idea of abandoning this year and letting her have another go at her GCSEs at a college, where there's a much more relaxed and accommodating atmosphere.

Original poster

AuroraRose92 · 15/03/2024 23:47

ntmdino · 15/03/2024 23:27

That's absolutely shit, I'm so sorry :(

Unfortunately, I don't have any useful suggestions - I'm autistic, and I've never had to deal with the parental side of it. I was really just asking to get a bit more detail in case anyone else has more of a clue.

If the school's that far gone, and she's in her GCSE year, just in practical terms you may have to consider the idea of abandoning this year and letting her have another go at her GCSEs at a college, where there's a much more relaxed and accommodating atmosphere.

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hi lovely, thank you so much for responding, i know she can pass english and maths and she knows that too. she is saying she will do geography and business and try sciences. she’s only started to do minimal revision and is now seriously overwhelmed. she’s worried about college because it’s a new place, with new people and everything. she’s thinking about staying on for sixth form but doing Btecs. i support her in any decision she wants

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ntmdino · 16/03/2024 00:02

AuroraRose92 · 15/03/2024 23:47

hi lovely, thank you so much for responding, i know she can pass english and maths and she knows that too. she is saying she will do geography and business and try sciences. she’s only started to do minimal revision and is now seriously overwhelmed. she’s worried about college because it’s a new place, with new people and everything. she’s thinking about staying on for sixth form but doing Btecs. i support her in any decision she wants

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She's not wrong to worry. I had exactly that problem at university; I went from having a stable and controlled friends group for 7 years to a complete new environment, and I fell apart.

I'm not saying that to worry you; it's more "forewarned is forearmed". I had no idea that I'm autistic; my mother knew (although she didn't know that was the word for it, it's been on her side of the family for many, many generations), but they all chose to believe I'd grown out of it. Because you know, you can take precautions ahead of time.

Genuinely...good luck, and I hope somebody can come along with more useful information than I have!

BlackeyedSusan · 17/03/2024 08:19

Well, when you find an answer let me know...I don't get crying in the morning just shouting. It's shit isn't it. Expecting we will be a neet next year.

Original poster

AuroraRose92 · 17/03/2024 14:08

BlackeyedSusan · 17/03/2024 08:19

Well, when you find an answer let me know...I don't get crying in the morning just shouting. It's shit isn't it. Expecting we will be a neet next year.

i’m so sorry, i really hope things improve soon and you are doing incredible!!

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BlackeyedSusan · 18/03/2024 11:00

Thanks . I've just lost the plot at the lack of cooperation at getting to school.

Original poster

AuroraRose92 · 18/03/2024 22:14

BlackeyedSusan · 18/03/2024 11:00

Thanks . I've just lost the plot at the lack of cooperation at getting to school.

just know you’re doing you’re best. keep encouraging and that’s all you can do. offer to help with schoolwork make sure you’re child is getting out of the house and communicating with others xx

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charliefair · 19/03/2024 15:39

I took mine out of school when he was 12 after years of fighting him to get there. The penny dropped and I realised it was completely traumatic for him and put a stop to it.