SN family - I am afraid to die

[londonsquirrel]

I know it might sound unreasonable and random... But I have a real fear of dying and leaving my SN child. I am not sick or anything (apart from my depression and, obviously, anxiety).

I am looking at the state of the planet - with wars breaking out, droughts increasing, hurricanes and floods becoming more devastating, ocean temperatures peaking, ruining sea ice and aquatic life. And I have a feeling real climate or other catastrophe is coming our way. Hence my fear...

I am autistic and I don't have too much safety network around me. All of my family is in another country, my closest friends live in different countries too... Yes, I have quite a few people that I know locally. I am part of the church community. But I cannot quite break through the acquaintance stage to the place where you actually care about each other's lives, checking on each other, not just doing the small talk (which is so draining). I have a feeling, NT people are just not too interested in befriending the ND?

My 9 year old son is autistic with ADHD and so is my husband. I am so afraid something would happen to me. They just won't have anyone to help... I keep trying to create meaningful relationships, but it is so difficult as an autistic adult!

I am not sure what I want from this post... But this fear is just taking over me and there are no tangible steps I can take to actually mitigate the risk. My anxiety is just spiraling...

Are you getting help with the anxiety, and if so is that help properly adapted for autism?

What about making friends with other neurodivergent people?

You all will be ok, please, understand this. Make sure all financial plans and other plans are up to date. Even if this involves talking to certain authorities if your personal finance is limited. I am from abroad also and have only a husband and my child. No one else. Not sure am I NT ( sometimes as I am introvert I might come across as ND ) but I do have many people I know and no one checks on me either apart from an older church lady.

If you are part of a church community, pray, and I will pray for you. Since you shared it, may I remind you that God really cares how He made us and there is purpose behind it all.

Do not isolate yourself because you think no one becomes personal friend.

I was the other day with my little family to a Nat trust property and there was a father with a very disabled young son, grown son. The son was non verbal, just waving his hands and making sounds. Anyway. The father was very casual, they were just in front of me, buying drinks and cake. Normal life, they were out for the day, I did not see a woman around. You keep living, go out, do life.

God has a plan for your and your relatives lives.