Did you tell people,after your autism diagnosis

[Springcat]

I was diagnosed last year ,and I've only told DH and DC
I've not told the in-laws or very many friends
I've no family myself to tell.
Do you think it's important to tell people,
or that people will wonder why your telling them .
I haven't really told anyone because I didn't think people will be interested,or simply won't believe me

I told DH & DC. Also a few select friends, some of whom I regret telling. Once it's out there you can't take it back! DH told his sibling, which I wish he hadn't done. I haven't told any of my wider family (parents or siblings), & not sure I ever will. It's hard, but if I had my time again I would probably have told no-one other than DH & DC as they're the ones that have to live with me and who it makes the most difference to. Congratulations on your diagnosis!

Thankyou chicken ,sorry to hear you regret telling people..I think I will probably feel the same , probably why I haven't said anything yet

In an ideal world I wish I could tell people. But as things stand I don't really plan to, apart from having told DH. While there is a level of autism awareness, I think probably most people don't know all that much about what it is (and it's complicated and wide ranging so I don't blame them; my knowledge is also limited and I'm learning). Because of that, I think most people I could tell wouldn't really have any idea how to interpret me as being autistic. For some that might mean they simply don't believe me. For others, it might mean that they assume things that aren't true. That seems like a lot of potential problems and misunderstanding which I would rather avoid. I really wish that I could tell people and feel understood as a result though. Maybe some day if I am very confident in explaining how it affects me. However, being new to the diagnosis, that's something I'm still learning.

Ah ,we chatted on another thread ,are you happy you got your diagnosis.
It was the thread about the assessment and how it had gone

@Springcat I am ambivalent I suppose. I'm still digesting it. Are you happy you got yours?

I don't know tbh
I wish I'd not told friends I was having the assessment,but I didn't really expect a diagnosis,so didn't think it through
But disclosing it to people,ends up with me having to explain and justify..
One friend in particular loves to tell me she can't see it ,and it's Def trauma .
I just say right ,ok ..
I'm getting better at not caring weather people can see it or not..they don't live in my head or face my struggles,so I don't care who sees what ..
So it's been good for explaining my past ,to me
But not good in thoughts about the future,as I was forever saying,if I could just pull myself together,or when I get my shit together,blah blah blah ,,and I guess I'm not going to ,get my shit together..

Sorry about the friend who loves to tell you it's trauma. That sounds really upsetting and frustrating. I worry about these kinds invalidating responses - even though of course they don't mean anything since these people are neither experts nor do they live in our heads, as you say. I'm sorry you're dealing with that.
I understand what you mean about the future too. Also though, for me when I think about the future I just feel like I really want to be able to live more "autistically" now but I am a very high masking person and I have no idea how to undo that. I look like I have my shit together but I'm in a lot of distress. So on the one hand I'm sort of hopeful that if had my needs met I might at least feel better, but on the other I still don't feel like I can express my needs.

I told family and work. Work, to get reasonable adjustments.

One friend in particular loves to tell me she can't see it ,and it's Def trauma .

Have you considered having better friends?

Unfortunately most of my friendships tend to fizzle out ..I can start them ok ,but just can't maintain them ,so I tend to be grateful to anyone who sticks around

She is an absolutely lovely person,and probably thinks she is being supportive saying it's trauma not autism..I suppose in her head ,she thinks trauma is the lesser of the evils .. despite the fact I was by choice on the waiting list for assessment for 3 years..I think she forgets it was my choice to be assessed

Ironic that putting up with this friend because you struggle to maintain friendships is a classic autism trait!

I’m one session into a 3 session assessment and so far it’s pointing towards autism so I’m wondering this myself.

so far I’ve told my partner and a friend. I wish I hadn’t told the friend.

like someone says once it’s out it’s out so I am considering it carefully.

i know my family will say it’s bollocks (which is funny as my sister is a psychologist) so I don’t really want to tell them. but I also kind of do because it would explain some things and I’m tired of them thinking I’m awkward for the sake of it.

have you told work? I am considering this as part of the reason I’m finally seeking diagnosis at 35 is I’m struggling to cope and think it could be better with some adjustments.