PDA & refusal to speak second language?

[GandTeaForMe]

Hello

just wondering if anyone has any experience of this. My second child has long refused to speak the minority language at home, although does understand a lot of it. This has been a constant source of frustration to us, and it’s only very recently that we’ve realised that she may have ASD that things have fallen into place a bit.

I wondered if anyone else has any experience of PDA and bilingualism in kids?

NB I am on the multicultural families board and do have an older child who speaks the language so my query is more about the PDA aspect of this rather than how best to encourage bilingualism at home. Thanks!

I'm not sure this is the best board for this, maybe you'll get a better coverage on SEN? Neurodiverse mumsnetters is about grown ups, who are neurodiverse themselves.

There are all sorts of issues with bilingualism, not necessarily PDA-related. When he was younger, my son was against me speaking English to him or reading in English. He would literally throw a tantrum. As he got older he is exposed to English much more and would frequently start speaking English to me at home, I guess it is difficult for him to switch.

Thank you! Sorry I didn’t realise I was on the wrong board as I thought I read posts about kids in this one but I must have been confused. Will post elsewhere

This is interesting. I don't speak my second language but understand a lot. I have never considered whether it could be PDA related before but I somehow feel like that could fit.

The other thing I had wondered was whether it's almost like I'm non verbal in that language or whether it's because I kind of can't process that language whilst processing lots of other things which I also process in a linguistic sort of way.

It might be none of these things of course. But I do find it hard to make sense of so it's interesting that you wondered about a link.

I’m Autistic and grew up in the 70s with two languages at home. At some point, very early on, I refused to speak my mother’s language.
We had Spanish speakers stay with us as informal aupairs growing up but I just taught them English.
It was only when I made friends with the youngest sister of our final aupairs (a family of four girls where the eldest came first, then her sister, then the next until finally my brother and I went to stay with them in Spain and the youngest and I met and hit it off instantly, we were 13) that I really became interested in speaking Spanish. I became bilingual from that point onwards.
We’ve been lifelong friends ever since and our families are tied with bonds indistinguishable from blood.

With my own kid, I only spoke to her in Spanish but found that, aside from her very first words, she began to speak in English at two and a half and it became harder and harder to continue speaking to her in Spanish. Something stuck though, even if it was just pronunciation, and she’s getting on OK with Spanish in her secondary school language lessons (Primary School French was an utter waste of time, dismal!)
As I can’t make her speak Spanish, all I can do is keep exposing her to it and make her see the prospect of speaking it as something attractive.

Last year, during a short visit, she got to spend some time with a Spanish cousin. It was their first time together as teenagers and they really connected.
The cousin got in contact us with us and we’ve agreed to host her for a month this July. All I can do is cross my fingers and help make the experience as joyous for them both as possible.

@GreenAndSpringy thank you so much for giving me hope. Everything you say sounds so familiar and I’m relieved that you have a relaxed attitude to this as I often feel like I’m failing her. However, I’ve heard her ask her non-English-speaking grandparents for some chuches / gominolas so I know she has the knowledge - she just refuses to use it!

this really does give me hope and fingers crossed we will move forward a bit more during our summer visit to see family this year. Lovely to hear your daughter has bonded with a cousin. This has really helped my son to become more fluent but my daughter is the only girl in the extended family so I need to find her some Spanish girlfriends!

@FloorWipes thanks for your comments too. It’s really interesting. There may be no connection at all - I just wondered if it explains my daughter’s complete lack of interest. Particularly if it’s not a complete lack of interest and more of an avoidance of a demand!