If I suspect someone I line manage is ND

[PrawnDumplings]

I have a stressful situation at work.
Am currently wondering if it's ok for me to ask someone whether they are or think they may be ND...

I just feel it might help explain some issues we are having.

But if it IS ok to ask, how should I word it?

I really need some advice. I don't want to do the wrong thing.

They may have no idea themselves. Or they may have a diagnosis and just not have shared it.
To be honest we haven't asked directly. Can you ask directly? Is there an organisation I can go to for advice around dealing with this issue?

Thanks.

No, you can't ask them. How do you think that could possibly help? I'd expect you to ask a general question about what support they need at work if someone is struggling.

No you can't ask - they may not even know themselves. But you could put support in place for them as though they were ND if those things are going to help them.
Can you say what some of the issues are?

I would kinda disagree with the above - you absolutely can't require them to disclose a diagnosis, but you can say something along the lines of, "I'm looking into ways we can help you, and it might help that process if I knew whether you're ND or not - you absolutely don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable with a conversation like that, though, and if not then we can explore other alternatives".

I certainly wouldn't be offended by that.

@itsmyp4rty - "But you could put support in place for them as though they were ND if those things are going to help them"

The problem is that even within the bounds of one condition (say, ADHD or autism), there are many accommodations that could be made for one individual that would be wholly inappropriate for another. Trying to implement them all would be an impossible waste of time and effort for any employer, and would likely annoy the hell out of the individual.

Nope.

Work around supporting the issues without asking the private medical information, particularly ad it may sound like an accusation so an undiagnosed and unaware adult.

The issues are present whether you know the reason for them or not

Hmm yep thought it was probably not going to be ok to ask.

Really extremely bright person.
Over works in fact. As in they try to take control over most things.
They see their way as being right.
They don't ever take no for an answer.
Obsessed organising EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. Way above where it is their job to do so.

I'd say they are an anxious perfectionist.

It's exhausting for everyone working with them. But because they work so hard, I really don't think they can see it from anyone else's perspective.

I keep wondering if it's connected to being ND. I wouldn't be surprised if they hadn't had a diagnosis, even if they are ND.

It's a shame. I like this person. And I'd like to think they don't mean to be so annoying. I'm getting really fed up of working with them. They are just like a dog with a bone about every single thing.

I am reading Smart Scattered which is about Exec Funxtion skills. It has a quiz you can do on yourself and a quiz you can do about your supervisee. I suspect they have high planning skills and a few other areas. They may not realise how annoying they are.

The strategies they recommend are

1. Reframing it in your head - I know this person is really annoying at x but they are amazing at y and z
2. Moving them to another job, moving away from them (not always possible)
3. Trying to divvy up tasks etc so they use more of their strengths
4. Trying to manage them so it has the least impact on you

It goes into more detail than this obviously.

I work with someone like this BTW. Still figuring it out!

You absolutely cannot ask lol, why on earth would you even consider it?