Autistic, terrified of jobs

[Grenadyne]

I have autism. I need to get a job to pay the bills but I’m terrified. 8 hour shift and I’m trapped, can’t walk out if I’m overwhelmed. No control over the tasks I do, no control over noise or lights, constant threat of social interaction. Plus every day the fear of rush hour traffic. I feel panicky just thinking about it.

I’ve got qualifications. I coped ok because classes were max 2 hours, travel was off peak and if I felt overwhelmed I could just skip class. The problem was when I started looking for work. The job centre forced me to apply for jobs I was terrified about getting. I shit myself when the advert mentioned “fast paced” or “drinks after work”. Being rejected was always a relief. I stopped claiming benefits because I was having panic attacks about being pushed into unsuitable jobs.

I’ve had jobs but couldn’t keep them. I got sacked for sitting in the cupboard during my break to be alone. I got sacked because my job was on the till and they were short staffed so they told me to go out on the floor among the people and I refused. I quit one job because I couldn’t handle the train at peak time, too many people and I was scared every day. I quit another job because there were only two employees so the other guy kept talking to me and I felt too pressured. I quit another job because I was struggling with the tasks and I didn’t feel able to ask for help because the manager was scary so I just walked out. I quit a call centre job because it was too bright and noisy. I got sanctioned loads of times for quitting, another reason I stopped claiming benefits.

DP has encouraged me to apply to a charity called Enable which supports disabled people to find work. I’m frightened to send in the form. I feel like it’ll start the ball rolling and I’ll be on a roller coaster that I can’t get off, pushed into jobs I’m scared of, like before. I don’t want to start having panic attacks and nausea again, or all the other horrible symptoms I had from anxiety.

Is sounds like you should be getting Pip

Have you explored some home working jobs OP?

I’m physically fit and normal intelligence, no disability that prevents me cooking, washing, dressing, no mobility problems. I do struggle with communication but I “can” do it to a functional level. So I don’t score enough points for PIP. I just can’t handle an 8 hour job where people keep talking to me and touching me and dropping things on me unexpectedly.

It’s really hard to find remote jobs. Lots of jobs are listed under Remote but they aren’t actually remote when you read the advert. Or they still want you to come in once or twice a week. Or they’re senior jobs not entry level.

But you are struggling with both communication and undertaking a journey, both of which are points on Pip.

Its not just about cooking cleaning.

My Dd is ASD. She needs a lot of support from us for communication. She struggles with journeys just like you. She gets full pip

But I “can” do it. I don’t like it and I have panic attacks and anxiety. But I can force myself to do it, and nobody supports me. The PIP assessor said basically I can do it, I just don’t want to. Struggling with it isn’t enough.. for PIP I have to be unable to do it.

But you can’t! The pip assessor is talking shit.

Social situations make you exhausted and overwhelmed. This includes journeys and workplaces. Doing everyday things is making you ill.

Have you appealed?

You might not get top rate, but these things are having a severe impact on your life. Let me find their criteria.

I think you fit into both of these. Journeys cause you significant psychological stress. I bet it easier if you have someone with you.

Engaging with people causes you overwhelming distress.

Just because you’ve done it before, doesn’t mean you can do it now.

PIP refusals are overturned on appeal a lot. If you have panic attacks, you can't actually do something. If you have a panic attack and miss your stop, you will fail to make your bus journey. Claim again.

what about starting part time, then its a smaller chunk of hours and maybe build that up?

I did appeal, it was still a no. Regardless, PIP wouldn’t be enough to live on. I still need a job.

Would it be possible to get lcwra? Uc but esa basically. For people who are unable to work due to disability or illness. I don’t know how it works particularly but I’m on new style esa and adp (Scottish pip). For pip you need to word it in a particular way. I would contact cab and get them to help.

I’m not eligible for any benefits. I did get Citizens Advice to assist with my PIP application but still got turned down, and turned down again on appeal. I’m thinking more about how I can find work that I can cope with, because I can’t get benefits.

@Grenadyne

You need to contact autism charities and find support to get into work specific to your disability. Ideally you would have something flexible, maybe work from home online? What are your qualifications in?

Some employers look specifically for people with autism and make accommodations for them such as working in a separate room, no socialisation required (usually tech companies).

I am in agreement with the others that due to the impact of your disability on you you really should be getting PIP and be getting whatever the equivalent of ESA support group is on UC and you should be able to work alongside this in a part time capacity which would take the pressure right off you.

Seriously, the problem with how your PIP etc has gone is how you have explained your difficulties, worded your responses and how you’ve presented yourself for interview. You really should be on it.

And you can still source support for work, the two things are not mutually exclusive.

My dd found these people extremely helpful. An advisor helped her fill in the forms which helped her get some extra benefits. She is currently unable to work for similar reasons to you @Grenadyne

Possability People

Can I just ask if you needed to show proof of your daughter struggling with those things?
I'm in a similar situation to the OP and am looking at applying for PIP. I have my diagnosis report but nothing else to prove anything.
I'm supported by my husband and don't use any outside agencies.

We had the reports from school and psychologist.

Kerp a daily diary
visit your gp to explain you are applying and ask them to write a letter in support
Get your husband to write how it affects his life.

They contact your gp anyway.

Would a working from home job be suitable? Can you search that title and your area?