I think I'm autistic with ADHD. How do I get referrals

[holdoutaline]

For both? Is the profession involved in assessing and diagnosing these conditions the same person or will you need 2 separate referrals?

I think I am autistic. But my supposedly 'ADHD' side pisses me off the most.

I can't make eye contact. Have to look at peoples eyebrows.
Dislike social situations and overshare constantly then regret it
Can't keep friends
Always been 'different' as a child
Routine orientated. I find a change of routine upsetting. And there's a person piece in my routine that I will complete unless I'm dying, literally. It makes me feel 'grounded' (I don't have OCD)
Even if I really, really want to - I can't concentrate unless I am genuinely interested. It's exhausting
Live in an almost constant state of guilt
Definitely have task paralysis - only overcome by lying to my brain and saying 'just do the 1 thing' and then end up doing the lot
Different hyper focused interests but core pieces of my personality and style have never changed since childhood
Cannot stand bright colours and not calm at home unless my house in the neutral haven I have built myself
Decision paralysis
Don't know who 'the real me' is

I have masked my entire life. The only person who knows a glimpse of the real me is my H and my DC

My son has profound ASD (non verbal, in nappies still, special school etc), and ADHD. His hyperactive ADHD is the hardest thing of all due to endless energy, concentration of a gnat (rather like myself) and constant pressure/movement seeking and eloping

I know in my heart of hearts this is all from me. His dad has 0 neurodiverse traits.

I already felt so nervous asking for a referral for ADHD. Should I ask for what's bothering me the most (because there's medication that might help for it), or ask for both?

Feeling very nervous that the GP will take a dim view of me self diagnosing such things or being shocked with a 'you don't look autistic' vibe

Forgot to add that I don't think there's anything more infuriating than someone interrupting me if I'm extremely 'in the zone' and focused

It's horrible. I have really had to get to grips with that one, otherwise again the rush of guilt comes, etc

Spend a lot of time feeling guilty for this or that.

Forgot to add again, that it seems like I am wonderfully coping but the impact these traits have on my life are devastating

I over compensate a LOT. A good example is my son's school. They think I am wonderfully organised and naturally brilliant at managing stuff and doing it all

I am a ticking time bomb who panics and over compensates by 1000.

It's all or nothing with me and with my DC it has to be all

Unless it's a day where we are home. And I am in a decision paralysis fatigue induced mess

And then comes the guilt... whooo

Sorry I only read your initial words not the entire thing as too much for me and I have both diagnosis but what country are you in? If UK I am sure you get a referral through GP but if you are in Ireland do not bother trying as you would be dead before HSE see you so you need to go private. It cost me 1000 euro but it was worth it.

Most likely they will refer you for one condition and make you wait, then when you get a diagnosis they’ll ask the doctor for an informal (unpaid) opinion about whether you need to be referred for the second condition. Then you’ll get referred and have to wait again. It’s a money saving exercise, they’re unlikely to give you two referrals at once.

Thank you

So really then, just choose the one bothering you most 😞

I was seen privately, but months of obsessive research into this confirmed it was the best way. I found a few places offering a dual assessment but with a relatively short time frame which made me dubious.

Initially I approached my GP to ask about autism only, despite have 2 diagnosed autistic DC he still wouldn't refer me. He decided I couldn't be autistic because I had a job and family and enjoyed a hobby(special interest). It was quite a few years ago now so I would like to think things have improved. Also in the few years since I had an absolute breakdown which pushed me into going privately. It wasn't until about 18 months of being diagnosed autistic that I stated to question the ADHD - I had been so focused for so many years on autism I didn't see it.

Don't be fobbed off by the GP, go in armed with lots of bullet points in a sheet of paper so you can easily remember, also keep a diary in the time leading up to your GP appointment and your assessment. The assessment is structured but I found a diary helpful as it brought things to the front of my mind that I didn't even realise were due to autism/ADHD

Good luck

Gosh it’s so complicated isn’t it? What did you decide to do @holdoutaline ?

I started seriously considering I was neurodivergent about 18 months ago after a lifetime of anxiety and episodes of depression/burnout and several other family members diagnosed with either ASD or ADHD.

I was convinced I had ADHD but was assessed and told not (I met the criteria as an adult but probably wouldn’t have done as a child), then I went for a second opinion with another service that I didn’t proceed with because they weren’t sure and I wasn’t going to pay again for them to tell me I didn’t have it. I finally got diagnosed this month with autism which is a relief (went private) but doesn’t resolve the ADHD aspect which is a huge issue and I’m left unsure what to do about it.

It’s so hard when the coping strategies and masking that you have had to use are for so long are then used against you as reasons that you can’t have it.