Hair twirling

[IHatesMeecesToPieces]

I have an ADHD diagnosis but suspect autism too, or at least have some traits.

Since I was little I've had this thing I do with my hair - twirl a bit round my finger but rub it between my fingers too, feeling the softness, smoothing it out over and over - this is surely sensory seeking right? I have to actively stop myself from doing it in public esp at work 😂

Is this a type of stimming? Or something that everyone does in one way or another? Hair twirling is very common after all.

Hello! I'm AuDHD. Yes it is stimming and sensory seeking.... neurotypical people do stim too, so hair twirling certainly isn't an autistic-only thing, but I would imagine you very likely have other traits too if you suspect autism as well?

Having both can make it hard to tease out which is which and they can certainly contradict each other to an extent! E.g. I tend to avoid people and social situations (autistic), but if forced into one, the ADHD definitely seems to kick in and I'm the most excessive talker there :-D (often in a blunt but also rambling/ over-sharing sort of way!) I also hate change and struggle with it massively, rely on certain routines being exactly as they are (autistic)... but in certain ways the ADHD can make me very impulsive and spontaneous, although not necessarily a good way (e.g. irresponsible spending, suddenly NEEDING to reorganise the cupboard under the stairs when I'm actually meant to be doing something else entirely, meaning I not only don't do the other thing but also forget to eat all day!)

Have you tried some screening tools like the AQ50 online, and there is another one too to pick up masking....... have a look at the Embrace Autism site. They can be hard to answer accurately though, especially if you have been conditioned to want to give the "right" answer rather than being able to understand your true feelings (masking even for the questions I suppose!) So do take your time and really think about what the questions are getting at. I think they must have been written by a neurotypical person because some of them really are quite vague :-D

Thanks so much for the reply! Well I definitely identify with most of what you've said, especially the avoid social situations/don't know when to stop talking 😂

I did have a look at those questionnaires because they were posted recently - I scored very highly, if only I could remember which one it was 🤦🏻‍♀️

Sometimes I can feel the two sides tugging opposite ways - need lots of variety at work but equally everything must stay the same, must sit in my own desk always and catch the same train every day! You get the idea.

Yes it was the masking one! Ridiculously high score for that.

I always knew I was "hyperactive" and did stupid impulsive things, so sort of always half-suspected ADHD....but had NO CLUE that I was autistic until I began looking into assessment for one of my children. I didn't know much about autism, even though I do have autistic cousins etc.... they are all older than me and we weren't close growing up. Looking back now I wonder how on earth nobody suspected it.... probably just the times I suppose (I'm in my 40s). I definitely grew up with the idea that I was a terrible child though - my "tantrums" were legendary! I also fixated absolutely massively on interests, had repetitive behaviours, was immensely "argumentitive", would watch the same films over and over, sensory struggles, school avoidance, overwhelm, literal thinking, loads of other stuff too.... so obvious in hindsight! But of course in the 1980s you probably had to fit Rain Man stereotypes to get diagnosed....

Are you keen to get assessed yourself? Diagnosis has been truly life-changing for me and has also made a massive difference to my child, in terms of school support especially. For me, it is just understanding myself and knowing that I'm not bad/broken/evil in some way.... I just grew up autistic with no understanding of my struggles and needs.

I went private after my GP told me about NHS waiting lists! (Couldn’t afford it, but that is the benefit of impulsive spending habits and 0% credit cards!) It was all in-person locally, followed NICE guidelines, the assessors involved both has decades of NHS/CAMHS experience, so no issues with it not being considered legitimate/acceptable in any way.....

Oh and the assessment process/diagnosis has also helped me to see many positives which I didn't even realise were autistic traits.... for example, one of my intense interests and what turns out to be my autistic eye for detail have actually led me to a career which I absolutely love.....don't want to say what I do, in case it is identifying (it is quite niche) but I honestly don't think I would be in this role if I wasn't autistic! It is very specialist, detail focused and repetitive and just absolutely perfect for me. Plus enough occasional variation to keep the ADHD side happy :-D

Thank you for such helpful posts! It's so useful to hear someone else's experience, when it's so similar!

It was actually suggested to an ex that I might be autistic, long before I thought about ADHD. He is autistic and thinking about it now, it makes sense that the two of us got along so well 😂

My current partner said when we first met he wondered too - and he's actually someone who thinks very little about these things.

The ADHD diagnosis was life changing - I suppose I feel like there's a missing piece to the puzzle still. I wouldn't be able to go via the local service like I did with ADHD, the waiting list for ASD is probably years. So I'm not sure really.