Hard first day back at work - friendships

[MyNameIsIDontKnow]

Went back to work after holiday today (school so quite a lot of staff, two week break) and everyone was so pleased to see each child other - hugging and chatting away. Even though I am always friendly and ask people about themselves and have good chats one to one, when it is this kind of group situation noone ever seems pleased to see me and I am never the one they chat to - even though I chat to them (and I don't think in an awkward way - the two people I have told at work were both surprised I am autistic). I feel like colleagues only talk to me if I am the only option!

It is so disheartening to think I am back in this day after day now after two weeks of not feeling like a total weirdo outcast all the time. It can't be good for one's mental health to be constantly feeling out of kilter with everyone and a bit sad about it. I guess the contrast with the holiday and being with my, pretty much 100% ND family is greatest on the first day back.

Anyone relate? Honestly, I don't expect a reply - (see above!) but would be nice to hear from others who get it and how you cope.

I've felt like this for years but now I work in an office where most people seem to be ND, whether they know it or not.

So sorry it's a bit shit fir you right now

Thanks @PinkMimosa -your responding really has made me feel a little bit better

Ohhh I have been there.

I think I would describe it as being treated like an alien coming to visit the "normal" people.

Funnily enough I tend to float towards ND people or people who share those characteristics.

Hope your feeling better op xxx

Thanks @namechangnancy you are spot on. I definitely gravitate to other ND types too - it is that 'speaking the same language' thing isn't it.

Anyway, I have concluded (just need to remember each time) to expect to feel uncomfortable on those days and to take measures to protect myself against it, such as building in recovery time afterwards - where that is possible with an ND child anyway!

@MyNameIsIDontKnow it feels rubbish. It's also because this world is set up for NT people and unfortunately as parents we have to teach our kids to learn the language but be aware how they feel is so normal.

My dd is ND as is DSD - both come to me about social situations and honestly it can feel like the blind leading the blind.

You're not alone, and honestly I think there's a lot of people out there who are Nd but either don't want to or don't realise. Find your group. One solo friend can make all the difference!

It’s so hard isn’t it. What I have found interesting is to see my teenage son experience this and describe it, yet when I watched it from the outside it looked to me like everyone DID like him and try to talk to him, it was more about his own feelings of not fitting in. I tried to point this out to him but he couldn’t see that others were reaching out to him. In the end he withdrew and now has no friends and I’m so sad about that because he had opportunities to have friends.
sorry for rambling I just thought it might help to know that actually those people around you might not feel like you’re an outsider. Sorry if that doesn’t help I’m definitely on the spectrum too and I’m not sure when I’m overstepping.

Yes @namechangnancy to blind leading the blind! My son always says I seem really good at being sociable (I do NOT feel it in my head!) but to me he seems incredibly good at it - but says he thinks he isn't. I suppose we are both good maskers.

@Gem2006 your poor son. I hope he can find the confidence to socialise again and find his people. I totally get where he is coming from. My whole life (I even remember thinking this when I was tiny) I would decide at certain times not to talk to anyone any more because it is/was just so risky in terms of the feelings of rejection and excruciating self analysis/self criticism that would follow.

Don't apologise for overstepping but funny you should say that as that is one of the things I constantly berate myself about - being too personal or asking inappropriate questions- I have no idea where the line is between chatting/showing appropriate interest/overstepping. It is impossible!! Other people just don't seem to care what they say!

@MyNameIsIDontKnow you sound so similar to me! I’d deffo be your friend at work!!!