Pcos and autism

[Greencabbages3]

Hi everyone I've been reading about women with pcos having higher rates of children with autism/adhd. I was diagnosed with pcos at 26 struggled to have children I do have three now and also had three miscarriages.
My first child 11 has been diagnosed with autism more than likely adhd will also be diagnosed.
Second child also on the pathway due to be assessed for asd/adhd..
Third child is only 4 but we feel is showing signs for adhd.
ive also this year been diagnosed with adhd myself.
now I feel like this has all been my fault and their lives will be affected always. I also read that trauma in childhood can increase your risk of pcos ahh it all feels so horrible as my childhood wasn't great 😞 I don't understand the link but I feel the guilt massively.

From your post, it's not clear to me what you want from this thread.

You didn’t cause anything , it wasn’t in any way your fault x

I think it’s true that people with autism/adhd are more likely to have pcos. PCOS is a metabolic condition related to insulin resistance…that’s why we’re more likely to get diabetes (I’m autistic). High levels of insulin affect hormones which is why some women’s ovaries are affected.

It of course is not your fault, but your children are autistic because you have adhd (they’re caused by the same group of genes) and perhaps their father is neurodivergent. The pcos is irrelevant. I imagine it correlates with trauma in childhood because a lot of autistics do have traumatic childhoods. (For some reason a lot of us have narcissistic parents…that’s just my own observation though.) High levels of the stress hormone, cortisol do affect blood sugar so I guess that’s another factor to consider.

You didn’t know you had adhd. Plus if no neurodivergent people had children the world would be missing engineers, mathematicians, artists, poets, musicians. They can still have a good life. I thought my DS would never cope with even going to sixth form and now he’s at uni and doing fine. And he has a diagnosis that says he has severe traits.

Hi I'm really sorry I forgot to check back thank you for your replies 🙂

I infer from your reply that everyone else guessed your intent correctly.

• Unless you deliberately or negligently underwent some kind of genetic therapy to give yourself the genes for ADHD or PCOS, then your genes are not your fault.
• Disabled people and people with medical conditions are allowed to have children.
• Autism and ADHD aren't some kind of fate worse than death. Your children and you can still have fulfilling lives with the appropriate support.

Sorry but I feel the tone of your reply is unnecessary.

I am allowed to feel a sadness at having medical issues that have most likely lead to my children having their own.

I forgot this is Mumsnet and kindness and understanding is hard to come by. Silly me!

I tried to reassure you that this isn't your fault and your kids can still have decent lives. How have I done anything wrong here?

*I am allowed to feel a sadness at having medical issues that have most likely lead to my children having their own."

Autims and ADHD are not medical issues.

Neurodiversity is an essential form of human diversity. The idea that there is one “normal” or “healthy” type of brain or mind or one “right” style of neurocognitive functioning, is no more valid than the idea that there is one “normal” or “right” gender, race or culture.
The classification of neurodivergence (e.g. autism, ADHD, dyslexia, bipolarity) as medical/psychiatric pathology has no valid scientific basis , and instead reflects cultural prejudice and oppresses those labeled as such.
The social dynamics around neurodiversity are similar to the dynamics that manifest around other forms of human diversity. These dynamics include unequal distribution of social power; conversely, when embraced, diversity can act as a source of creative potential.

https://www.autisticuk.org/neurodiversity

Hi I was referring to my pcos having possibly lead to my children being neurodiverse.

We as a family are less than a year into knowing we have Autism and adhd and as such we are processing and working towards better knowledge.

Thanks for your reply

my pcos having possibly lead to my children being neurodiverse.

Even if it did, you didn't know that it would when ttc, so stop blaming yourself.