Can we celebrate all the amazing qualities

[coffeetofunction]

After having another conversation with my partner about my ND children I feel sad again that to get a diagnosis or to be understood or accept it is necessary to discuss and highlight individual qualities that are deemed to be negative. It's like a list of reasons why being ND is bad or not acceptable. Reasons why ND individuals don't fit (when really they do).

This makes me so sad.

I know that individuals that are ND may have qualities that make life exceptionally difficult and create massive barriers and health issues and I am absolutely not making light of these or sweeping them under the carpet.

However where possible, can we turn the negatives into positives and celebrate all the amazing unique qualities of ND people that we get to share our lives with..... Please

I'll make a start... Myself and all my children have ADHD and our super powers include being unconditionally loyal, loving and honest. We all also have an eye for details that others do not see.

I don’t have an eye for detail at all, I’m the world’s least observant person! What I do have is a laser focus and an ability to collect, organise, analyse and remember huge volumes of information. I will get obsessed and work 20 hours a day and forget to eat. You’d think this would be valuable to an employer, but apparently it’s outweighed by my social deficits to the extent that I’m un-hireable.

Great topic! As I’m exploring getting my DC a diagnosis and certain supports, I am often told - don’t worry, she’s so young, it probably isn’t etc - which is so biased as if it’s something wrong!

good qualities
I’m very honest, loving, creative and also can be intuitive sometimes in an uncanny way.
my daughter is gentle, caring, boundless energy, creative and seeks out the fun/joy.

Autistic here, my strengths include high attention to detail, very fast learner and can organise and collect information extremely well. I try hard to be kind, and I think I’m loyal.

Autistic here. From what people tell me, I've been unintentionally conditioning them to speak straightforwardly and enjoy the simple world where they don't have to look for the hidden meaning.

Also, it's given me a great career - my primary "superpower" is that I can instinctively conceptualise (not really "visualise") huge, complex systems as quickly as I can take in the information about them (which is similarly fast relative to the normies). It turns out that, in the modern world, that's quite a valuable skill.

As for the focus on the negatives...that's because the gatekeepers are the medical professionals, but it's not entirely their fault. I've only ever met one doctor who actually asked me, "What's the world like for you?" and genuinely wanted to know about the way I perceive the world around me. They're trained to view everything as a collection of symptoms from an outside perspective, preferably ones to be solved or alleviated. The idea that somebody can exist in a non-typical state, and actively doesn't want to be "fixed" but rather just needs help with coping, goes entirely against their instincts.

Not many posts but lovely to read the positives

Great idea for a thread - I agree that assessments seem to be all about the difficulties and never about the bonuses.

I am an ADHDer and a PDAer - I am fun and funny, spontaneous, energetic and optimistic, always smiling and laughing. I never take things at face value, I want to question and deeply understand everything and am open minded. I am self confident, openly myself almost all the time and care very little what others think of me (would, however, be upset if someone thought I was unkind). I feel connected to the natural world and try to tread lightly and cause as little pain and damage as possible. I see no hierarchies and see no one as above or beneath me (this has obviously caused me problems over the years too, but overall I feel it is a good point) - I see through social constructs and find them mostly absurd. I have plenty of difficulties too, most of them stem from having to live in a society that expects conformity and doesn't match my outlook and from having to organise myself, but I like how I am wired.

I can only answer for my dc (various combos of ASD and ADHD) based on what I see - no one can access another's inner world - but they are incredibly insightful and intelligent, committed to their interests (in which they are talented), they are funny and amazing company.

AuDHD.... definitely a great eye for tiny detail, which has led into a niche career that I love and is based around my interests. Amazing enthusiasm and utter dedication to anything I'm interested in. Care massively about social justice issues and will always stick up for the underdog.....not afraid to speak my mind and often seem to inadvertently do so in a way that other people find quite amusing.....also, at rare times when the ADHD overpowers the autism, can be very spontaneous, talkative and want to plan fun things. Loyal friend.

Lots of negatives too but definitely good to celebrate the positives!

Autistic here. I'm a perfectionist and detail focused and therefore very good at the job I do. I'm also good at offering a "fresh perspective" apparently (for me just no bullshit common sense).