Does anyone else find yourself avoiding people?

[skatykatie]

I have ADHD and I suspect may also have autism which I successfully masked probably right upto the covid lockdowns. I would never say I was extroverted, but I was chatty and enjoyed groups and being around people. However no matter how much I masked, I always found myself on the outside or excluded. I no find myself avoidant of people due to bad experiences and I just wish I wasnt and could get back to my masked self. Can anyone relate?

I can't relate with the wanting to go back to the masked version.

Pulling back has bene utterly life changing for me mentally. I have no pressure to 'perform' and can juts be myself

I’m the same. I tried and tried to be nice and friendly and kind. But still nobody wanted to be my friend, I always found myself rejected and excluded. So I just gave up trying. I am very avoidant now because I know that people are going to reject me and I’m reluctant to make the effort when I know I’m only going to wind up being hurt and excluded and upset again.

Same here. Masking and working hard to fit in is only a tactic, not a strategy. It helps in the short term but has massive negative effects in the long term. I stopped doing it after covid too, I feel like the “me” from when I was 19-20 - a total misfit but at least it’s me again and not me pretending.